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TOPIC: Homosexuality 1898 Views

Re: Homosexuality 24 Jan 2024 17:52 #407535

  • yitzchokm
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chancy wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:36:
Reb Cordnoy, I usually dont reply to your posts, as we have very different styles and I don't like to get into arguments. 
But I gotta differ with you here. 

What you wrote that this is our mesoraha, i would argue it isnt. At least not the way we are doing it now, not by a long shot. 
The closest i can imagine what a mikva was like, is the Ari's Mikva is Tsfas. One min in and out. 
There was never any hanging around, showering, sitting in a hot tub. Come on man! 

The Beis Hamerchatz in the times of Chazal was pretty similar to our Mikvah.

Re: Homosexuality 24 Jan 2024 17:58 #407537

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chancy wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:36:
Reb Cordnoy, I usually dont reply to your posts, as we have very different styles and I don't like to get into arguments. 
But I gotta differ with you here. 

What you wrote that this is our mesoraha, i would argue it isnt. At least not the way we are doing it now, not by a long shot. 
The closest i can imagine what a mikva was like, is the Ari's Mikva is Tsfas. One min in and out. 
There was never any hanging around, showering, sitting in a hot tub. Come on man! 

Fun Fact #56487: There was more than one Mikva in the Bais Hamikdash. And in the Gemara we see plenty of times about the "Bais Hamerchats", which is a public bath house. 

Re: Homosexuality 24 Jan 2024 17:59 #407538

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yitzchokm wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:52:

chancy wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:36:
Reb Cordnoy, I usually dont reply to your posts, as we have very different styles and I don't like to get into arguments. 
But I gotta differ with you here. 

What you wrote that this is our mesoraha, i would argue it isnt. At least not the way we are doing it now, not by a long shot. 
The closest i can imagine what a mikva was like, is the Ari's Mikva is Tsfas. One min in and out. 
There was never any hanging around, showering, sitting in a hot tub. Come on man! 

The Beis Hamerchatz in the times of Chazal was pretty similar to our Mikvah.

Sorry didnt see this before i put my post....

Re: Homosexuality 24 Jan 2024 18:33 #407542

  • willdoit
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yitzchokm wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:52:

chancy wrote on 24 Jan 2024 17:36:
Reb Cordnoy, I usually dont reply to your posts, as we have very different styles and I don't like to get into arguments. 
But I gotta differ with you here. 

What you wrote that this is our mesoraha, i would argue it isnt. At least not the way we are doing it now, not by a long shot. 
The closest i can imagine what a mikva was like, is the Ari's Mikva is Tsfas. One min in and out. 
There was never any hanging around, showering, sitting in a hot tub. Come on man! 

The Beis Hamerchatz in the times of Chazal was pretty similar to our Mikvah.

And we see in chazal many halachas regarding going to a merchotz with father/rabbi etc. which means that it was the norm back then too

Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 04:57 #407562

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Mikva usage by men is very sacred to some segments of Klal Yisroel. Those who were not brought up with this hanhaga may find it odd, but that does not remove the tremendous chashivus others have for it. I live in the Tri-State area where there are many men's mikvaos. I have used many of them myself at quieter times and at busier times (Erev Shabbos in the winter months). Use seichel. The majority of mikvaos are serious places where people behave as is befitting for such a matzav. If the mikva in your neighborhood does not fit that description, take your son with you somewhere else. And as stated by many - no child should go to a mikva without a responsible adult taking achrayus.

As far as being together with a bunch of naked men, it really depends on your upbringing. For those who this has been the reality from childhood, it is really not a big deal. There is the well known story of a famous Litvishe Rosh Yeshiva on Erev Yom Kipur who realized the mikva had not had hashaka, and asked ten bochurim to go into the mikva with him to cause the water level to rise to the proper level to enable hashaka. Obviously he was not concerned with naked men being together.

Of course one who struggles with SSA should discuss with a mentor/rebbi if he should go to the mikva or not.
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Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 09:58 #407568

  • frank.lee
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HHM, great post!

You need to be able to keep your head clean, not start looking or fantasizing. You can also take off your glasses. 

Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 10:55 #407571

  • adam2014
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I mentioned that only Mikvah that I ever went to was the Ari Mikvah in Tsfat. Like you said, one minute in and out. (The cold water helped speed things up as well). I am not well versed in the Halacha that goes along with a Mikva, so. I am only commenting on the real world application and the common sense of not going if you have SSA. 

Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 11:03 #407572

  • adam2014
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I made light of my personal conversation regarding going to a Mikvah.. I was heavily involved in athletics in my youth and have been in many locker rooms and showering around naked guys since I was a teenager. So that is not a problem, but we didn’t sit around and chat, We would shower and get dressed and then chat and hang out. (I am not saying that goes on in every Mikvah, I have no idea). With modesty being so important in our faith, I would think some of that would carry over to men in a Mikvah (and maybe it does). 

I know that this is totally different and most adults go there for holy reasons and conduct themselves properly. 

Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 11:14 #407573

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Thank you for that last line… I am in no way saying that it is wrong or that people shouldn’t go. I would also add that I would assume that most people go for the right reasons and act appropriately. But as a society, we have to be very diligent in our actions and take the necessary measures to ensure that the safety of the people (especially the children) are protected. Could you briefly explain or point me in the direction of the Halacha involving men and going to the Mikvah. I understand the basics on why a woman goes. Is it Halacha or minhag for men? 

Please accept my apology if I offended you in the slightest. 

Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 12:33 #407575

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I do not think you offended anyone. You introduced your post that you are simply not familiar with mikva usage by men, hence your view regarding it. And rationally speaking coming from that vantage point, you are correct.

In periods of time where tumah v'tahara was a halchic concern (i.e. when korbanos were brought, one was required to go to the mikva after experiencing a seminal discharge - whether through marital relations, wet dream, or other cause). Although practical halacha is lenient with a man being required to use a mikva after a seminal discharge nowadays, there have always been many who continued the practice of immersing in a mikva prior to Torah study or Prayer - some actually being of the opinion that this is a requirement. In addition, in Chassidic communities it became the norm to use the mikva every day as a means of purifying oneself before beginning a day of avodas Hashem. In addition, once a person has reached the age of puberty, there are oftentimes traces of semen in the urine - which means that technically one may "need" to use the mikva without even realizing that he had a discharge of sorts - which is one of the reasons given for people immersing before entering the Bais HaMikdash, despite not really "needing" to.

A mikva is definitely a place where predators (or just plain curious young bochurim) would like to hang around. In chassidic camps, a magid shiur or mashgiach is usually present (dressed) during the hours that the boys go before shachris, or on erev Shabbos afternoon. Most normal communities have set up systems to prevent anything inappropriate, however as was written a few times, one should never allow a child/young bochur into the mikva by himself. In addition as was written before, most mikvaos are not relaxed shmuzing men's clubs. Are there some that may unfortunately lack in tznius? Probably - so just don't go there.
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Re: Homosexuality 25 Jan 2024 16:59 #407585

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Thank you, as always, for that detailed explanation. Most of that I never knew. Unfortunately, as a society, the actions of the few affect the vast majority of people who are doing the right thing. 

I think that purifying yourself before spending a day of Avodas HaShem is wonderful... What a great symbolic way to recognize and focus on your priorities for the upcoming day. 
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