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TOPIC: What am I supposed to do? 227 Views

What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 14:30 #405601

tryingtobeholy
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Posts: 10
Karma: 1

Hi everyone!
I am an 18 year old Bochur, I'm out of Yeshiva for a while, and I'm desperately searching for a suitable job for myself but I'm just getting stuck with "potential" jobs. Basically, besides the fact that many times I'm dead bored, I'm also frustrated and feeling bad about myself, feeling rejected. I don't have any friends who I can speak to on a daily basis. My relationship with my parents is not too great either. My father I don't talk to at all. My mother is a different story. I'm struggling with Yiddishkeit too. I don't Daven, don't say Berachos, and I'm just sitting and wondering what am I supposed to do to hold myself back from getting onto porn for some soothing?

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 14:31 #405602

tryingtobeholy OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 10 Karma: 1	I don't really have anyone who understands me, who I can relate to and who can offer guidance. Not a friend, not a mentor...

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 14:49 #405609

ainshumyeiush Current streak: 2 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 311 Karma: 26	You came to the right place. Ive also been thrown out/rejected from a few yeshivas, and sitting around feeling like a failure sucks. I cant give you any advice, but if you need someone to commiserate with, im here. and don't think that you are never going to be anything, i honestly believe that going through those tough times is what made me become a better person.
	"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill Curiosity kills the count guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727 feel free to get in touch ainshumyeiush@gmail.com

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 14:56 #405610

crabapple18
Current streak: 1430 days
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Karma: 19

tryingtobeholy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 14:31:

I don't really have anyone who understands me, who I can relate to and who can offer guidance. Not a friend, not a mentor...

It’s a lousy place to be. I’m familiar with many of the resources out there. If you’re interested in knowing more I can let you know.

Here to see what works for others and a good shmooze.
Always here to share my journey N' what works for me.
Feel free to reach out 24/6 charlesbosgod@gmail.com
One day at a time! Today is what counts. RULE 62. It’s the first drink that gets me drunk.
“Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future and [a] mystery.Today matters most”
One lust drink is too many and a thousand isn't enough.
**Its a part of me, not who I am**

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 15:10 #405613

davidt
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Posts: 1799

tryingtobeholy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 14:30:

Welcome chaver! You seem to be in great pain. We are here for you. At GYE we don't judge anyone and hopefully you'll be able to find great inspiration as well as find great new friends here - and you never know... maybe we'll help you find a job as well...

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 15:47 #405617

redfaced Current streak: 581 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1129 Karma: 55	If you are looking for someone who understands you and cares about you - you'll not find anyone better than HHM. Worth a try reach out to him
	May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com The Red Face

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 18:45 #405639

zzz613 OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 44 Karma: 2	hi and welcome! its really brave of you to write this, and this itself shows that your fighter and im sure you will ultimately see hatzlacha!!

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 18:56 #405641

eerie Current streak: 847 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1592	I second the motion that redfaced put forth. Reach out to HHM. Michelgelner@gmail.com Trust me, you won't regret it!
	Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com Last Edit: 25 Dec 2023 18:56 by eerie.

Re: What am I supposed to do? 25 Dec 2023 19:24 #405648

vehkam
Current streak: 1101 days
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Karma: 237

tryingtobeholy wrote on 25 Dec 2023 14:30:

Reach out directly to a few of the chevra here. It’s a great start. And focus on the positive.

vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me. Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.

some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me. This is ok. I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves. If you do realize that you know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: What am I supposed to do? 26 Dec 2023 03:55 #405687

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2918 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4058	Welcome. Boy do we understand you. Yi'ush is debilitating....
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: What am I supposed to do? 26 Dec 2023 14:42 #405716

true_self
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Welcome!
It's incredible that you are trying to become better or not get worse at least, I was in yeshiva not so long ago and I remember how it feels without friends, no davening, no brachos.... but don't beat yourself up, try your best and don't give up! maybe take 5 minutes a day to speak ti hashem in your own words, and if you don't want to speak to him because you feel he hates you because of what you are going through, it's ok and you can tell him that as well.
As others have recommended, reach out!

Stay strong! we are with you.
True self

My thread: From two identities to True self

If you want to reachout to me to talk please email: wish2banonym@gmail.com