Many people have already seen the dark picture that is painted in many sefarim for someone who slipped in this area. This creates a tremendous amount of guilt and hopelessness. These feelings do more harm than good. The person gets upset by what he sees written in sefarim and then continues to act out and becomes more upset. It is therefore imperative for any person struggling with this nisayon to gain a proper understanding into the words of Chazal on this topic.

Not everything written in sefarim was intended for every person at every time. A person needs to have a Rebbi who tells him what Chazal meant and who they were addressing. Even within the words of Chazal, there seem to be various contradictions. There are some ma’amarei Chazal that give hope and chizuk, while others discuss the negativity and punishments.

Obviously there are no real contradictions in Chazal, and all of their words are true. However, the point being made here is that just as one needs a Rebbi to teach him how to understand a sugya in Shas, so, too, must one have a Rebbi to understand this sugya in hashkafah. Additionally, it’s important to emphasize that anything written in sefarim pertaining to this topic was done with one intention in mind: to help a person grow. If a person sees that he’s acting out more after learning from a specific sefer, or he is falling into a deeper depression, then he is obviously coming away with a message contrary to the purpose for which  was written.