now is erev yom kipper after kapuress i am b''h still clean.
i am coming to yom kipur with two weeks of guarding my eyes and my hands to kedusha.
some of them not easy days.
for sure a big zchus.
and i ask hashem in that zchus he should give the courage and might to stay clean and brake free of all these habits.

Beautiful tefilah

 it’s a gradual mindset change that come with human connection, personal hitbonenut, and time. 

you can, and you will succeed. 

hatzlacha

b''h today is day 21! yyaaayyy!!! I feel so so so good about myself. its worth the effort.
now for the last week, especially with the inspiration of yom kipur, my urges are fading away, and even shmiras einayim is not that hard for me.
and i am living in a drama of waiting for the next urge to come instead of enjoying my time of freedom.
any advice from all the special people would be appreciated.

You'll burn that bridge when you get to it

crispy wrote on 28 Sep 2023 15:03:

Dont think I am special so i am hesitant to give advice:) I have personally found that at the time of a nisayon, Hashem gives us the tools to succeed. To worry about the future when we dont know what it holds, what the fight is, or how we will be when we fight is not that helpful. 
One thing I would say is make sure to have a person to call when the urge arises. You are really doing great, keep it up!

b''h the whole yom tov was derhoiben and clean. i even succeeded to guard my eyes real good on the street. even though i live in a area full of shmutz.
on motza (an hour ago) i had a crazy urge. i called up a hot line,(which is my biggest nisoyon) had about a thirty second conversation, and i right away caught myself and hung up before i got to any dirty talk. i think that this would not be considered a fall since it wasn't any kind of intimate talk and didnt lead me to act out in any way.
so assuming that this was not a fall i am happy to celebrate 24 days! 
hatzlacha.

Congrats!!! Keep it up!!

What's all this "assuming that's not a fall" business?!?!
that's a win if there ever was one!

Beautiful!

you guys are giving me real chizuk. thanx for everybody.
I kept having that several times that i started doing a phone call and knocked down. i hope that i shouldn't call at all, but if i caught myself ontime before i entered the shmutz i am not counting them as falls. 

btw i am real curious if anyone can relate. that my tayva for phone conversations is much stronger then watching stuff.
it feels more personal. 

crispy wrote on 03 Oct 2023 19:38:

Yes

crispy wrote on 03 Oct 2023 19:38:

At least you can fool yourself into believing there is someone on the other end that cares about you

thank for everyone that replied here and that pm'd me. it gives me a lot of encouregment.
thank you hashem for helping me get to 31 clean days, 

I didn't explain myself good.
its that the audio part is what triggers me mainly. 
i didn't watch porn for the last 4 years. and its not hard for me to not watch it. but i can't stop doing phone stuff or even listening to recorded phone stuff. how interesting it may sound, its the audio without the visual that triggers me more then the experience of watching. a possible explanation might be that i feel less guilty about it. but i feel that it's something more. + guilty feelings doesnt stop the urge to do something, it usually works the opposite way.
so if anyone relates i would love to hare feedback.