I have been addicted to masturbating (no porn). I cant get married if i cant b in control of myself. The goal was to try and control myself.Tbh ive always though that i cant control myself. Bh i went 12 days!!!  for me its hard not to think abt sex, whether thats wat im used to thinking about wen im bored, or i see s.t that turns me on and i think abt it then or later. But, During these 12 days my mind wasnt any cleaner. The way i was set up, My fall was inevitable. Since this is wat i was constantly thinking abt, i wld often b in a urge situation. Usually i wld ignore it, ovcasionally i wld touch down there. , i was feeling upset and stressed from waking up late. I started thinking abt sex and b4 ik it i was touching down there. I did t rlly even mean masturbate but it just happened so quick. The takeaway i have from this is that i cld control myself from masturbation. These 12 days were the longest ive ever gone and i consider it a major accomplishment. If i were to try this again, i wld need to have a plan on how to react when thougts pop into my head.....any ideas? Thx all for ur help

hihello123 wrote on 25 Jul 2023 14:52:

Congratulations on your milestone!
The fact that you KNOW you can control yourself is something that is invaluable.
Check out F2F for all kinds of tips you can use to help you on this journey
Use that knowledge to push yourself even further . You'll see you can do it!

As a side point the name of the thread shouldnt be "I fell " it should be "I got back up" !!!
KOT

I Agree with redfaced on all and especially with updating the name of the thread!

Wow! 12 days is a very big accomplishment. Falling is part of the growth, its part of life. Its normal to have falls. Keep your positive attitude going. You can change as you already recognized that.

Keep fighting,

Thank you for sharing about your fall, and especially your success. Chazal say, there is an organ in Man, when you satisfy it, it is hungry, when you starve it, it is satisfied. The Yetzer Hara tells you that you can't survive without "M", and that you are making your bad thoughts worse, but that is just plain Sheker. Maybe in the very short term you'll get some thoughts but the more you overcome the easier it will be and your thoughts will be more clean. 



Try talking to Hashem when you have unclean thoughts or urges. Talk about how it feels impossible, and how you believe that despite everything you believe you can overcome, and that you need help and believe Hashem can help you. Talk about how you feel - lonely, angry, sad, bored, whatever. 

My dear friend Reb HiHelloShalomHowYouDoing, I hope you follow the advice our friends have given, and I hope even more that you realize what you have gained by being here, by being part of this family, by having friends here that care for you very much. Keep sharing, and of course, keep trucking!

syataDshmaya wrote on 26 Jul 2023 05:41:

Every word here resonates deeply with me, too.
Whispering to Hashem before, after, and during struggles is a life changing experience...
The lies and glamour of the Yetzer make him so powerful, to the extent that without help from Above it's so, so difficult - אלמלא הקב״ה עוזרו לא יוכל לו, but when we reach out - ה׳ לא יעזבנו בידו!
We can then be given the gift to see how the illusions can vanish like the smoke and mirrors they are, leaving a warm sense of satisfaction in their wake.
You can do it! With help from the Rebono Shel Olam!

Hello, hihello123
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is great that you were able to go 12 days without  masturbating. You should be proud of your accomplishments! Maybe you can try to find something else that you can occupy your mind with when you are bored. Maybe a hobby, an interesting riddle, Torah, etc. Hashem says barasi yetzer hara, barasi lo Torah tavlin. Maybe try learning something you find interesting and occupy your mind with that. Whenever you find a bad thought coming you can divert your attention to the Holy Torah thoughts and they will hopefully pass. You can also try calling a friend or reading a book, just something to distract your mind and divert your attention from these thoughts. I know myself that it is very difficult controlling my thoughts especially when they come uninvited and take over everything I am working on. Just know that every thought you try to fight is one step in the right direction. Keep fighting! Hatzlacha!