Hi everyone, 

With the help of a mashpia I was introduced to this wonderful place and am hoping to find some chizzuk here. I am 25 years old and married. No one knows about my secret except for my mashpia who I finally confided in recently because I just couldn't keep it to myself.

I grew up pretty frum in a Chabad family and have struggled with SSA ever since I can remember. Unfortunately I've had relationships with friends in yeshiva over the years and while at the time I didn't realize it, they continue to haunt me today because I still think about/obsess over them. I am hoping to find some inspiration from the people in this group so that I can keep living an authentic life in line with the Torah values that I was raised with and love. Any advice/feedback/insights are welcome. 

A good shabbos to you all

tryingmybest770 wrote on 09 Jun 2023 16:02:

Welcome Tayere Yid! Read around, and try to connect to people. Good to have you!

Welcome to the club! There are many of us here, both single and married, and we are learning that we can live fulfilling Torahdig lives despite our SSA. You will find lots of love and support here. 
Hatzlacha!

Struggles are a lot easier when you don't have to face them alone.
Welcome, tzaddik, your post tells a lot about what a special person you are!

I hope you are already realizing how special the oilam here is, with a welcome like that! Here we are your brothers, we care for you, we want to hear from you, so please keep letting us know how you are doing. Like GSBY pointed out, there is a lot of chizuk for people going through any situation, with the main chizuk being that you don't have to go it alone
The fact that you opened up to your mashpia is HUGE! Keep up that relationship, and we are here to support you in your journey. Keep trucking!

hello and welcome!

i'm sorry for what you've gone through, and yes carrying it alone is a killer. you've done a great move opening up about it to an actual person, and i'm sure you'll benefit greatly from this community as well.

when i read your last line, i immediately began thinking of advice/feedback/insights to share, but then i figured that you dont need that from me. i think you'll benefit most from opening up and sharing about yourself, and from corresponding and connecting w others. especially w chevra who can relate.

hatzlacha and a lichtigin shabbos!