Hey I am bright. Good  to be here. I sort of feel like any time I start working on something Hashem makes it super hard for me. Like yesterday 1 day after starting gye their website was down, an important scheduled conversation about my shalom bayis never happened (making things worse). I was simultaneously stuck at home babysitting for hours. Anyone have similiar experiences?

Hi and welcome! Yes, I think we all have had that experience where we try to improve or take on something new and davka then, something gets thrown our way that makes it more difficult for us. Please understand that it's not by accident. Hashem has planned it this way. But once we get over that initial hump, we get the סייעתא דשמיא to keep going. 
The best Mashal that I have heard about this point was from R' Dovid Orlofsky. He said: Have you ever seen a little child learn to walk? What happens? The child tentatively takes a step or two as his parents hold their breath, and then he falls down, and as soon he as he falls, the parents start cheering and clapping: Yeaaah!!  And the child thinks to himself: "These people are sick. They're happy that I fell down?" But, of course, we understand that the parents are cheering the first step that he took. So too, when we take a new step and then we get challenged and maybe fall down, it seems as though Hashem wants us to fail, but in reality he's cheering on the new steps that we're taking. 
I wish you all the best, keep posting!

bright wrote on 24 May 2023 13:16:

It's definitely hard and frustrating. We want to turn a new leaf, be good and then so many obstacles turn up. 

But let's keep in mind that Rome wasn't built in a day. Anything of quality, substance and real success takes alot of hard work, and overcoming countless obstacles.

So, I plead with you, do not get discouraged and give up. Fight for that glorious future that awaits you! 

I hear, but at times it seems over the top. I don't really hear any cheering just piling one thing on top of the other

Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader 

You certainly are "bright" for joining the crew. This is where change happens. I completely relate to what you are saying about everything going wrong when you just want to make things right. It feels almost like your doomed to fail and you have no bechira. I struggle with these thoughts all the time. Just a few days ago I woke up deciding it was going to be a new day and immediately so many things went wrong one after the other. Talk about not hearing any cheering! My friend, you are another precious irreplaceable fighter in our group and we need all the manpower we can get.
Stick around and be in touch! Don't feel any pressure to sound positive (I almost NEVER do) 

Hi Reb Bright!!! Welcome to the forum! It's so nice to see that yet another great person has joined the fight.
Yes, we all feel the same at times when we feel that everything is going wrong and discouraging change,
always remember this "ועתה" - אם עתה תקבלו עליכם יערב לכם מכאן ואילך, שכל התחלות קשות (מכילתא שבת פז)"
It's hard to start but once you make the decision to make a change no matter what it takes, and you don't give up for any obstacles that come your way, you will see success! I promise.
I really feel for you and I can relate to you, I can become annoyed and start giving up very fast when small things stand in my way. however with the time I have learnt that you just need to add a little more gas and push the paddle a little stronger before you give up and you can break it all through.
Thanks for coming out here to post, you will see very soon what a wonderful community it's here, Please stay with us and keep on posting.
​And of course don't be shy to reach out to some great people here (like HHM, Eerie, I believe that there are many more but these 2 I have a super good experience with (didn't yet have enough time here...)) that can help you a lot and add some positivity and ambition.
Also feel free to reach out to me on PM, but I recommend these I mentioned before me.

Keep going, you are an amazing person.
All the best
True self.

thanks bright!