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Re: Introducing Myself 23 Apr 2023 18:51 #394851

  • eerie
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If I may add my two cents, First of all, way to go! You made it through a test-filled bain hazmanim, you are gevaldig! As far as your question, I agree with @Monseyyid, it sounds like you are very successful in Yeshiva, and for most bachurim the time that they are in Yeshiva should be spent mostly focused on the sugya they are learning. So don't spend too much time thinking about it now.
And why would you fall when at home? It's probably a combination of two things. 1- the opportunities of falling that are available at home, 2-the fact that there is much less structure in your life. So, now shteig away! Before you go home, strategize: 1-how are you going to deal with the available devices? Filters, accountability partners, asking your parents to lock the devices from you, etc, and 2- figure out a way to structure your days that you feel productive.
Celebrate your major wins, my friend! And keep trucking!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Introducing Myself 25 Apr 2023 01:27 #394933

  • eccentriccomposer
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I decided to try my hardest to read a chapter of The Battle of the Generation every day, I still need to find a mesudar time for it, however, but I'll make sure I'm keeping up by posting here regularly, hopefully that'll give me some accountability!

I figured that if my Yetzer Hara has been trying so hard to get me not to do this, it must be the correct way to combat it. I've been vacillating between reading it and not, and I figure that that's my Yetzer Hara, so I'm a couple chapters in already, but today counts as day 1 for making it a daily thing.

B'ezras HaShem I keep this up!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 26 Apr 2023 01:06 #394981

  • eccentriccomposer
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Haven't done it yet today, gotta make sure I do before I go to bed!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 26 Apr 2023 12:57 #395007

  • eccentriccomposer
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Made sure to do it first thing when I got back to my room, day 2!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 26 Apr 2023 13:42 #395012

  • monseyyid41
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Way to go! Keep it up, we're following you. BTW, I like the new Avatar.
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: Introducing Myself 26 Apr 2023 22:53 #395031

  • eccentriccomposer
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Made sure to get it in early today! Day 3, keeping it up, B"H!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 28 Apr 2023 00:51 #395082

  • eccentriccomposer
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Day 4, made sure to get it in when I had some time during lunch. 

I wanted to add this, since after finishing the chapter it really resonated with me. One of the main points made in the chapter is that when people have this struggle they let it define them, they feel as if this is who they are. But its not true. Really you are an amazing, heilege, yid; it's just the Yetzer Hara that's trying to get you to think otherwise. So that got me thinking really hard, because I've always felt similar to this. Not as intense, but similar. Everyday I focus on davening about this specific thing, 3 times a day, and spend a lot of time just thinking about it. I don't think that's wrong, and I'll continue it, but I think I need to change my perspective. 

Honestly, how much time do I spend on this every year compared to other things? Maybe, max, over the past couple years I've done it 30 times a year, which is terrible, but all added up, how much time is that? Generally its quick, so maybe 2-3 hours over a year? Now I'm a Yeshivah Bochur and try to learn over 10 1/2 hour a day! 3 hours a year can't define me! Now lets think of something else, how much battala do I do every day? Maybe an hour if its a good day? Do I define myself as a battlan? No, I feel like I'm a masmid! So what's the difference? It must be that the Yetzer Hara is getting me to think this way because it knows that I can beat it if I keep fighting, but if I think that it defines me, and its just what I do, its who I am, I'll give in that much faster! Also, I need to understand that the struggle itself is a mitzvah, and, b"h, over the years I've been able to fight it so much more!

I need to tell myself, this isn't me! I am a bochur who spends his time learning while at Yeshivah, and at home during Bein Hazmanim, and all the time I can in between, that's who I am! Ok, I struggle with my Yetzer Hara, but everyone does, I'm normal. I don't define myself because of my Yetzer Hara, because of my challenges. I need to use them to grow and become a better person, a better me. They aren't me. The challenges aren't me.

I am a normal bochur!

Thank you for reading this, and feel free to add if you have any ideas, it means so much to have an amazing oilam like this around, I get an amazing chizuk.
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 28 Apr 2023 04:58 #395088

  • eerie
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Spot on! Beautiful!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Introducing Myself 29 Apr 2023 21:04 #395116

  • frank.lee
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Amazing point, really puts things into perspective!

Re: Introducing Myself 30 Apr 2023 01:54 #395120

  • eccentriccomposer
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Day 5 (From Friday, still need to make sure I do tonight), going well, no new haaros.
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 30 Apr 2023 22:13 #395150

  • eccentriccomposer
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Day 7 (Did Today already). About to get to the ikkur part of the book.

Just a life haara: 

I just got back from a friends vort. I wish they didn't mix so much, it was very hard. I can't say that I did a perfect job at mamash not seeing anything, but I definitely tried hard to look away from any clusters and stay to myself and the friend I went with. Again, I wish that it would have been completely separate!  
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

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Re: Introducing Myself 01 May 2023 11:29 #395179

  • Hashem Help Me
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So iyh by your vort, protect your friends, and make it safer for them. It's a great zchus towards building a real home of hashra'as haShechina.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Introducing Myself 01 May 2023 19:22 #395195

  • horizon
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 01 May 2023 11:29:
So iyh by your vort, protect your friends, and make it safer for them. It's a great zchus towards building a real home of hashra'as haShechina.

i wonder how practical that is

טאטע טאטע טאטע איך וויל זיין, יא איך וויל זיין, א ירא שמים

my forum

Re: Introducing Myself 01 May 2023 21:26 #395203

  • eccentriccomposer
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Horizon wrote on 01 May 2023 19:22:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 01 May 2023 11:29:
So iyh by your vort, protect your friends, and make it safer for them. It's a great zchus towards building a real home of hashra'as haShechina.

i wonder how practical that is

Hopefully very, I want to make sure to be careful about this one. I think its very important!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
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Re: Introducing Myself 01 May 2023 21:27 #395204

  • eccentriccomposer
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Day 8 of reading this every day!
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
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