chancy wrote on 29 Aug 2023 20:26:

It's unreal . I dont have your numbers yet , but I know I will in 300 something days

chancy wrote on 29 Aug 2023 20:26:

Well said!
Thank You Hashem for GYE, for good friends, for Yiddishkeit,
for the hope of change and new beginnings

על חיינו המסורים בידיך וכו׳ ועל נסיך שבכל יום

chancy wrote on 29 Aug 2023 20:26:

So true! Yes, Rosh Yeshiva dear, thank Hashem for GYE and all that it gave us!

Day 150

I want to thank everyone, I am at day 150, and other than 1 slip I've been clean since Channukah. I am so proud of myself!

Hatzlacha Rabba!

And we are so proud of you, too! Keep it up! And keep sharing the inspiration!

Just wanted to write about how I feel like I've grown over the past months.

I feel like I have more control over my thoughts, which is really the most important part. If you can keep your mind mostly in control, it can help most of the time since that's where a lot of things start.

I feel like my whole viewpoint is different. I've felt for years that I had a problem, that I was stuck in a rut, that no matter what I tried I would always end up back at square one. But this time its different. I realize that its a normal occurrence, and that I can, and HAVE, gotten past it. Of course the struggle will always be there, but I am proud of myself that I've reached the next stage. I've gone through ups and downs, stared back at my old haunts, and gotten past it clean, and growing. I realize that this is an area of growth, that I can prove myself to HaShem in this arena that I am his eved, doing this specifically because he told me to. I have an optimism, and an energy, that this is the end and I am moving past this once and for all.

I will always be vigilant, but I am glad that I am moving on the the next part of my life with this accomplishment behind me, and knowing how to stay true to my values in the future.

Hatzlacha Rabba!

156 days, b"h!

I was wondering if it would be smart to stop focusing so much on the forums, I sort of feel that I am spending a lot of time here that I don't necessarily need to be doing. I know I am helping people out by being encouraging, but I think by this point in the struggle I can move beyond here and sort of put everything further back in my mind, not needing to bring thoughts up while coming over here. I would definitely keep up with my accountability partner and guys via email, and try to post every once and a while, but I don't know if daily checking is going to be good for me at this point.

A big thing I have gained from everything is communication with people in a more real way, which isn't really coming from the forums by this point.

Any ideas?

Do what works for you, my friend.

Eerie wrote on 06 Sep 2023 23:42:

Do what works, and be open for re-adjustment. You are real and good and growing!

Ksiva Vichasima Tova and unbelievable Mazal and Bracha in your new Bayis!

Just wanted to do a quick update.

B"H I am up to day 165, which I am flabbergasted that I have been able to accumulate such a streak! I am so happy that I am able to enter the yamim n'oraim with such an accomplishment behind me, and I am excited to continue it further.

Just some things I have found to be extraordinarily helpful. I feel that a real connection with people can do wonders! I have been in contact with another bochur my age to help him out with his struggles, and not only am I mechazek him, I am mechazek myself tremendously! I feel so much better connecting with a real person over the phone. And even better, I met someone in person for the first time, which is a complete game changer. Be"h I can make it 365 days more, until next Rosh Hashana, or however long the Uber Year is going to be.

If anyone else wants to get in contact with me, please send me an email, its so amazing connecting to people on a more personal level, it really ups the challenge to another darga and makes it that much easier.

A gut gebentcht yar, and a ksiva v'chasima tova to everyone, and I will be davening for everyone, and I hope you daven for me as well!

Hatzlacha Rabba!

172 Days, absolutely incredible!

I think its time to really sign off of the forum, I am heading into a new stage in life, and I don't think I will really have access to GYE any longer. I am extraordinarily thankful for all the help and encouragement I have received, and I know I am walking away from this experience as a better and changed man, ready to face the challenges the Yetzer HaRa will try to throw at me.

On a different note, I will still have access to my email eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com , and would love to keep up with everyone. A major part of my ability to get to where I have gotten is with my connection with everyone here, and I want to keep that connection with the people that I can. Please reach out to me and keep in touch, it means so much to me!

Another thing I would like to add is that I would enjoy helping people with their struggles, especially if they have been similar to mine or they are around my age. Please don't feel shy about reaching out to me, and if you see anyone that starts posting here that fulfills that criteria, please share my email with them and get them to contact me, it gives me a massive Chizuk to help people, and it helps me as well.

Now, for the rest of my final post, my Bein HaZmanim plan!

1) Airport- I need to be more Chamor about Shmiras Einayim in the airport, I was thinking of actually removing my glasses again this time, though its hard to navigate without my glasses, my eyesight is REALLY terrible, but its worth the trouble. Just get a drink, get to my gate, and have some way to keep my self occupied so my eyes don't wander.

2) Airplane- Again, if I keep myslef occupied I should be okay, I've generally been very good about this.

3) Computer- A) Nochumul on accountability partner, if I go on the computer, I text him with what I am doing, and how long I expect to be on, and I let him know if I'm extending my time, and when I am off. This is the best way to make sure I am cognizant of what I am doing and staying on top of myself. 
B ) Have a sibling sitting behind/next to me supervising, my sister knows the drill by now.

4) Magazine Room- DO NOT ENTER. Last Bein HaZmanim I did really well, so I think I can pull through this time again, after all, its my last one.

5)Stores- This is a new one I am adding, since I noticed my eyes wander when I am out by myself shopping. The best thing would be to bring someone else along, but that's not always practical, so I am going to take off my glasses in stores except for if I am looking for a specific item, I will hold onto the glasses, ready to put them back on, but with them off, that should keep me on top of myself. Though other ideas might be helpful, I don't know how practical this is.

6) Other Urges- Other urges come up, even of I am super careful, so if another urge comes up I will reach out to my accountability partner or someone else I am in touch with, and the practice some mindfulness, which I have realized really helps. Close my eyes and take some deep breaths. Another option would be to go on a walk outside, which also generally really helps.

This should cover mostly everything, from my experience. I want to keep in touch with everyone and will email people over Bein HaZmanim and the rest of my life, I have so much Hakaras HaTov to everyone here! Gmar Chasima Tova.

Signing Off,

Hatzlacha Rabba!

EccentricComposer

EC!

You're truly a superstar! Loved having you around! Stop by when you can, and never get complacent. 

Hatzlacha!

Amazing!! One thought of feedback. 

Try to face the challenges as a hero, a warrior, from strength, and not run away from weakness. That should help you feel powerful and go in to win!!

Its been a while since I last posted, and a lot has happened since then, B"H everything is going very well.

I am posting because a newer member here reached out to me on my email and asked how I was doing. He brought to my attention that I was doing something that I was annoyed at when I was active last year. I remember being very confused about the active posters, that they were all people currently engaged in this struggle, yet all the people that had already moved past this stage in life left and barely ever posted. I fell for that as well, its been very busy since I was last on here, and I have not posted, or even checked up on the new guys, in almost a year. 

I had a very nice conversation with this member, proudyungerman, and he pushed me to come and post again.

I just wanted to update everyone on how I am doing.

Last I posted, it was shortly before my Chasunah, and right before Succos Bein HaZmanim. So Bein HaZmanim went pretty well, though I had a small slip near the end, but came out strong and have been going strong since then, B"H. Then there was my wedding, which was absolutely incredible, the best I have ever been to, and I had no intentions of ever telling my wife what I went through. That changed a couple weeks in when my wife asked me something and I decided to spill the beans to her about everything I have gone through. I was scared to death about the ramifications of my decision, but my wife was, and still is, amazed at my strength for overcoming what I have and has been extra supportive in every way since then. We have had multiple conversations about this topic.

The main reason why I didn't post until now was because I thought that I got distracted sometimes last year reading through everyone's threads, and also I only ever had a more minor issue, and I was finding out about things which I shouldn't have, so I thought it would be healthier not to come on at all. Also, I felt awkward using my wife's computer for this, that's my only access to internet, though she doesn't understand why I think its awkward. Through all this, I think that completely leaving is probably not the best, but I will mainly stick to my thread.

I just want everyone to know that I am doing well, and will check on from time to time, though mainly to post on my thread.

I love hearing from people, I still check my GYE email daily and would love if people could contact me that way, especially anyone new here and that doesn't recognize my username, I would love to hear from everybody.

Looking forward!

Hatzlacha!

eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Very nice post!

Wishing you continued hatzlocha