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Re: Niddah after childbirth 28 Nov 2022 02:27 #388379

  • eerie
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Absolutely! You can read my recent post at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/388203-Its-all-in-the-name, we are in this together! Keep on trucking!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Niddah after childbirth 28 Nov 2022 02:28 #388380

  • icanbreakfree
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i wrote B4 that my wife knows.
we're staying at my inlaws now, So on Thursday night, I snuck away to go watch TV
(I wouldnt B'etzem but its in the house and I have like ZERO self-control!) 
i was gone for a while and then my wife got upset at me.
she was REALLY mad! 
I thought she was upset because I wasnt helping her with the baby during that time and that she was Choshed that i was watching something inappropriate..... 
It finally became clear that really she was so mad that I SNUCK away, that I wasnt upfront with her. 
that was really why she was MOST upset when she caught me originally.
the feeling of being cheeted on was bad etc.
but worse than that was the falsehood! 
she wants to feel like she can trust me...
Lemaase, its been over 100 DAYS!!!! clean! ie.: 100 days after getting caught, so the clarity of not wanting to wrong her dwindled a bit so I lost track of how "sneaking" makes her feel......
I know I'm mid-sentence but gotta run......

Re: Niddah after childbirth 28 Nov 2022 03:31 #388387

  • vehkam
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Icanbreakfree wrote on 28 Nov 2022 02:28:
i wrote B4 that my wife knows.
we're staying at my inlaws now, So on Thursday night, I snuck away to go watch TV
(I wouldnt B'etzem but its in the house and I have like ZERO self-control!) 
i was gone for a while and then my wife got upset at me.
she was REALLY mad! 
I thought she was upset because I wasnt helping her with the baby during that time and that she was Choshed that i was watching something inappropriate..... 
It finally became clear that really she was so mad that I SNUCK away, that I wasnt upfront with her. 
that was really why she was MOST upset when she caught me originally.
the feeling of being cheeted on was bad etc.
but worse than that was the falsehood! 
she wants to feel like she can trust me...
Lemaase, its been over 100 DAYS!!!! clean! ie.: 100 days after getting caught, so the clarity of not wanting to wrong her dwindled a bit so I lost track of how "sneaking" makes her feel......
I know I'm mid-sentence but gotta run......

glad that you clarified that with her. 

regarding the zero control on watching TV.  Do you prefer to have control on that? 
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Niddah after childbirth 28 Nov 2022 04:24 #388396

  • geshmak!
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Mazes tov!! מזל טוב!!
I’m a bit insulted I wasn’t invited to the kidesh…. Lol!
lods of nachos!!
Dear brother please get in touch with Hhm asap! You cv don’t want to ruin your beautiful clean streak…
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Niddah after childbirth 28 Nov 2022 13:39 #388420

hatzlacha rabah with everything!

btw, if things are a lot of marriage based, it's possible to join the baal habatim forum to continue the conversation, where could probably get even more support than what you're getting over here. Plus, can be more open about different things, since it's just for us married people. 

Re: Niddah after childbirth 30 Nov 2022 19:55 #388619

  • icanbreakfree
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yes. i definetly have to speak to HHM!
thank you everyone for all the well wishes!

whats Baal habatims forum?

Re: Niddah after childbirth 01 Dec 2022 02:42 #388658

  • geshmak!
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It’s a forum for married guys only 

you should be able to see it if your married if you don’t then maybe message gye.
Btw how’s it going bro???
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Niddah after childbirth 04 Dec 2022 20:15 #388880

we are about to have our 4 kid and i have the exact same worrry!!!??!

I did a 90 day streak but then fell..

now  i am 28 days clean and hope to stay that way iyh after having the baby etc..

how will i manage in nidda days?/

please help

Re: Niddah after childbirth 05 Dec 2022 13:07 #388955

Bshaah tova!

Find ways to give you're wife happiness in ways allowed when shes niddah. Cherish her smile. Cherish the new baby together. Can really shteig in your marriage during this time that there's no physical closeness.

Avoid triggers. Recognize the yetzer before it gets too strong. At the very beginning of feeling an urge work to shake it off and extra vigilant to avoid things that could drag you closer into the mud r"l.

Daven. 

Post when struggling before its too late!

Hatzlacha rabah!

Re: Niddah after childbirth 11 Dec 2022 02:35 #389232

  • icanbreakfree
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i meant to respond before.
yes!!!
definetly want more control on not watching TV

Re: Niddah after childbirth 11 Dec 2022 02:41 #389233

  • icanbreakfree
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i would advise you to speak to HashemHelpMe too!
he has been amazing!
my baby is now 3 weeks old and I had a few falls. it sucks to fall after reaching 90 days...
but with Hashem's help and HHM's advise, encouragement, and planning, I'm picking myself back up and moving forward!!!

Re: Niddah after childbirth 26 May 2024 05:34 #414072

  • sdny
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JUST a thought i don't think your situation is unusual. 
I stopped going to the library a few moths ago b/c i might go on to the computer and watch a "kosher" u tube video with a bad ad. (b"h only went once in the last few months. Or not go to Walmart b/c i might buy a smartphone  even though i know it Will screw my life over (i practically dragged my sister along when i needed to go -she was my "shomer" without knowing) or not going biking in the park b/c on the other side of the park there was a big library with few Jews and porn books (unlike the local library that was full of Jews and didn't have a "as bad" of book.
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