Geshmak! wrote on 28 Oct 2022 01:27:

The main time to strengthen yourself is not when you feel like you be are falling, it is before that happens .

(Of course it is also helpful to have someone to call  when you do feel that you are falling.  )

Without access to a private messages it may be difficult to set that up though

So open it for me:wink:


All I want is a partner I can call or a mentor… how do I get that?

Geshmak! wrote on 28 Oct 2022 01:01:

You can email me anytime. Vehkam7@gmail.com

I know I feel for you it really isn't easy but it works I highly recommend you renew it before it is up, and Hashem will see how serious you are and will help you get through it. My kabbalah was and is still in effect today that I will not masturbate, or search up anything inappropriate or any bad phone calls with out first calling a Rebbi and telling him what I am about to do so the shame just stopped me from doing it. 
Wishing you lots of success 

Hi geshmack!. I had(have?) the same problem as you, calling sex lines. bh i haven't called in like 150 days. I find it to be the biggest and hardest challenge in the porn world because its so accessible, but also one of the easier ones to get un-addicted to because since we use our phone so often, if we stop calling sex lines enough times, then our brains get rewired faster, because if we use our phones 24/7 for the right thing our brains stop associating it with porn faster.

Btw feel free to email me to #share and care.

I sent you a PM with my phone number, but you have posted that your PM may be locked.
You can email me and I will give you my number.
alexeliezer613@gmail.com

How does it work? How do you get updated on your profile to different ranks? Like what’s does it depend on?

Someone told me…if someone is addicted to sex there is no way he can get out of it by himself he must go to sa… is that true like can’t be that I used to be addicted and now I’m not?!? I really respect that person that told it to me but I’m just so not maskim… I used to be addicted like I couldn’t control myself and now bh I think I do have some what control so what does that mean I was never really addicted or does it mean that I really still am addicted or maybe I was an sex addicted and I recovered by myself with out going to sa…. Can’t be?!?!?

Geshmak! wrote on 16 Nov 2022 05:44:

If you are referring to the clinical use of the word addiction then he is correct it cannot be cured and will never go away. It can however be managed with tools such as a 12 step program and therapy.
Think of it like diabetes 

Not all bad habits are actually an addiction... 

Interesting…
how can a person know if it an addiction or Just a bad habit?

Geshmak! wrote on 16 Nov 2022 14:41:

This should be posted somewhere as frequently asked question.
The first time I was scared that I have a problem to the point I called someone, I called Rabbi Shais Taub (he wrote a book on the 12 step progam), and he asked me if I feel that I can make a strong decision not to do it again. I said yes, so he said, so do that...
A few years later, I spoke to Dov from this forum.
He described an addiction as an allergy. Some people just have it for life, and they have to avoid their allergens.... I didn't feel I fell into that category.
It doesn't mean that I didn't have falls in between lasting months, or that 12 steps can't provide help...
Either way, reaching out to someone in real life has been invaluable.

Geshmak! wrote on 16 Nov 2022 14:41:


Consider these questions to get an idea if it is an addiction or Just a bad habit:

1- Is your behavior having a negative impact—directly or indirectly—on your life?
2- Do you repeatedly put yourself in risky situations?
3- When you stop acting out for any length of time, do you experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety or stress?
4- Have you taken steps to hide your behavior or have you repeatedly, but unsuccessfully, tried to stop on your own?

If you answered yes to these questions, you likely suffer from addiction.

A habit is a learned and ingrained association between a stimulus (or incentive) and a response (or behavioral reaction) manifested consciously or subconsciously to achieve a goal. Addiction is a more complex disease. 

DavidT wrote on 16 Nov 2022 17:59:

I'm sorry, I disagree with your assessment. Answerin' yes to #2 may be somewhat of an indicator (but not by itself), but one who is in a rut of habitually doin' bad stuff may respond yes to #1,3 & 4 as well. The books have lists of 20 questions. (In the past, I have replies yes to about 16/17 of 'em.)

I’m really confused and actually a little scared…. Am i addicted or not ?? and if ya is it bad? Scary? Can I live a normal life even being an addict with going to sa?!
who can I call that will conform for me my status?

Shmuel wrote on 16 Nov 2022 11:37:

I believe even "it" (whatever 'it' is) can go away (unlike diabetes). "It," however, can also come back (just like it entered in the first place).