Was traveling yesterday and when I got to the airport I saw a woman who looked like she was on her way to a video shoot if you know what I mean. 

I took off my glasses. 

for most of the rest of the trip. 

guess who was sitting in front of me across the aisle in the airplane?

This woman was traveling with 3 or 4 little kids and a pretty boy husband who was busy preening and watching videos on his phone the entire flight and barely lifted a finger to help out. The second this woman opened her mouth I realized how disgusting the inside is and the outside is just a show. Like a soiled diaper inside of a scented colorful garbage bag. 

It’s like seeing something well formed in pretty packaging thinking that it might be chocolate, and then, when you get closer, you see that it’s really not chocolate…. Yelling “shut up” to her kids at least 50 times during the flight. 

I didn’t wear glasses the entire flight and learned something so interesting. 

I couldn’t really see the woman. Only listen to her speech and observe her blurry interactions with her kids. 

the outside is such a small part of the person and really the shallowest part of the person. The costume has an impact on the initial judgment of how you look at the person, but the more you see how the person behaves, and this is with every person in every situation, you really got to know their true character in whether they are an “erliche mentch”

side point, when her kids started getting crazy with my kids I did two things 

1. told my kids that the stewardess sees them and she’s coming so sit nicely and behave like a ben Torah lest they kick them out of the flight (and we’d miss them so much if we got to our destination without them)
2. Sang hamalach and shma with them (many many times in all the various tunes) 

the woman happened to be a Jew. 

the only time she turned around and quieted down was when I started singing hamalach hagoel to my kids… it was like something clicked and sparked a memory. Who knows maybe it will make a difference…

also, side rant- it is SO not fair for parents to ignore kids because they’re on their smartphones with movies or emails or social media and then explode at the kids when their voices get louder than the movie in the AirPods. 

ORPHANS to parents who are still alive! 

forget about porn and goyish influences for a second - what about the kids! A child needs and craves love and attention. If anyone here has ever made the effort, and just looked in their child’s face for 30 seconds and then just told them “do you know how much I love you? Could you possibly ever understand how special you are to me?” And making it a point to hug and kiss each child at least once a day…

Imagine spending 30 seconds and doing that to each kid instead of scrolling through one Instagram video.

This will transform the quality of the children and your family and your relationship with all of those around you.

The day my mother got an iPhone it was a turning point of “before” and “after” in my life. 

choose your family!!!!

I know this all sounds very harsh and judgmental but really I’m not saying this in a forum where people know who I am. It is more like a journal and I am venting my feelings. This is something that is so important and to focus on it really can save lives.  how many children could have been saved from the street if their parents just gave them the love and attention that they needed? I once asked someone about one of my kids who craves attention. “ I give him so much attention. How much attention could I possibly give him?” The answer was ” as much as he needs.”

I once had a roommate that had a weird symbol on his shoes. I asked him what in the world is that? He told me some fancy brand where each individual she cost $500 and then he proceeded to tell me that every time he tried to get attention from his father, his important businessman father just gave him a lot of cash and said go buy something. This is one of the most depressed people I’ve ever met in my life. 

I can relate..the same thing happenes to me on Shabbos morning, all the women with tight skirts and a chutzpahdik personality block off the entrance.. it used to bother me... until I decided that theses women are nothing more than tight clothes and heels.. really?? Don't u have some aidelkight? Don't block off the door so i can give you attention! Its a great tip btw.. to consider in ur head (not face to face) that these women all have a really gross and controlling personality and probably don't even have a sense of humor or anything authentic about them.... this is all when u don't wanna be nichshal..

but when they are not around u can just be dan lecaf zechus and say that they don't know better and got bad chinuch