Face the challenge wrote on 28 Jul 2022 18:25:
I originally posted this on my thread ‘for the bochrim by the bochrim’ (link is in signature) but i felt that it would be more appropriate to share it here…
Just wanted to share my thoughts for any newcomer who sees this. I’ve noticed that there have been many many people who are constantly joining gye but I’ve never heard from them on the forum since they registered. All i can say to them is the following: it was really hard for me to open up on the forum for the first time. I wrote about three lines and didn’t really describe anything about myself. I remained a bystander on gye for more or less 40 days with the occasional short post here or there. While shopping around the site was good for me to gain more and more motivation to stop watching porn and to stop masturbating, what really did it for me was opening up on the forum without any restraint. There are so many people here who have been through all the pain that you are going through and they can truly help you. If i hadn’t opened up the way i did, i doubt that i would have made it this far. Im almost 100 days clean and that’s after 15 years. If i can do it, so can you! And if there are people here who got clean after 30 years then certainly you can. Don’t just join the site and then forget about us and revert back to your old habits. This is your chance to reach out to real people, to connect with real people who know exactly what it’s like. So please, please muster up the courage and join the forum. I promise we won’t bite. We just want to be there for you to hold your hand and help you along the way to freedom. It can only get better after getting support from the gye team. So make the decision and help us help you regain back your freedom and regain back your life.
-someone who cares
This cannot be stressed enough.
I signup up four years ago. For four years, I only read others' posts and comments but never interacted. All that did was serve as a trigger.
At some point, I told a friend (whom I talk to about these issues), "GYE doesn't work for me; I just get triggered from reading the content."
About three months ago, I decided to give it a real chance and started posting and interacting. I'll acknowledge that it was very hard in the beginning, especially being the introverted, don't-bother-me type of guy. But these three months is also the first time I made it to - and past - 90 days. Not only has posting helped me finally get my act together, but it also removed the trigger aspect (talking about my own experience). I don't see the content as a twisted form of erotica; it's much more real. Real people. Real struggles. Real growth.
Suggestion:
I'm also signed up on the Yiddish site. They have the following Minhag there: They have a designated thread welcoming new members. Every member, upon signing up, gets a nice "Bruchim Haba'im" (actually "Breechim Haboo'im). I feel that this can help the newcomer feel more ready to comment or open a thread, etc.
(We just need a volunteer that can be on top of it...)
