How about looking at the percentage of days you were able to keep clean over the week as your progress, As apposed to trying for a streak. Take a look at s'שבה יפול צדיק וקם thread. It was inspiration for me.

Hey! Keep on going! You can do this! 

If I can add a small point which you probably know yet it’s important that it should be emphasized! I think working on this struggle has to have a correct perspective… this is a life long struggle and there’s no solution to suddenly end taivah… a filter alone won’t do it! Nor hiding devices either! That’s only part of breaking free! Sorry for the breaking news :-) yet there’s a lot we can do to make us stronger people! How about coming up with a system to help yourself not wanna watch porn even if your using an unfiltered phone here and there! Not that I’m recommending using unfiltered devices! Filters are so important!! But I think that should be the mindset that even if I would come into an unfiltered phone here and there my clarity not to fall is so strong! My gedarim are like a metal wall regardless of where I am! Any thoughts of where you think you can start to reach that clarity? I have some ideas if you’d like. 

perhaps starting with a 1/2 hour a day for the next few hundred days on

1.reminding yourself why you don’t wanna watch porn?  

2. All the hardships it’ll cause in the long run. 

3. all the misery it’ll cause in the short run.

And then of course distance yourself from the triggers like you’ve been doing in an awesome way until now! that’s also a super important part of succeeding!  

theres a lot to think about to build up a clarity and if it’s done on a daily basis you’ll see a new person in the mirror! Keep it up buddy! Your a real inspiration! 

Hi Goldfish, read through this thread and really sympathize with your feelings of helplessness and hopelesness which are coming through your writing. I did not see anyone mention trying SA and the 12 step program. Have you considered that? It might be an avenue to pursue. When you are powerless over lust (in any form - even just plain fantasy), getting into an SA meeting and commiting to the 12 step program can change your life, literally! Just throwing this out in case you've never considered it. Feel free to pm me or connect with me through the partner program to disucss further if you want more information. Wishing you continued success in your journey to recovery and sobriety!!

Hello, everyone. Thanks for your insightful comments. I really appreciate them. I just got a new job working in a local store. Although it fills my time up successfully, making me less bored, it does mean learning how to talk politely to women etc. Boruch Hashem going well so far.

Goldfish wrote on 24 Jan 2022 17:52:

keep it up!

I fell. 
My mother left the computer unlocked for a few minutes while she went out. i just felt I couldn't control myself. As soon as I heard the door close I closed  the desktop and went to my bedroom and masturbated. I'm not a total faliure though. I'm just unprepared and can't stand under pressure....
Hashem will help.

I had a three day stint. Then I failed. A bit miserable. I just wish I had some self control. In any area. I feel so empty when I find myself indulging in pleasure just for self-gratification without any thought of its ramifications. As Hillel said "If I am for myself, what am I?"

Is there any way you can maybe do the act in a less enjoyable way the next time you fall? Maybe that can help you get started to succeed more. This is probably a bad idea so talk it over with a partner or friend if you have one. And if anyone here thinks that’s a bad idea post below. 

And to make sure you do it in whatever less enjoyable way you choose, you can make nedarim in line with GYE’s TaPHSiC method.

Is there any way you can maybe do the act in a less enjoyable way the next time you fall? Maybe that can help you get started to succeed more. This is probably a bad idea so talk it over with a partner or friend if you have one. And if anyone here thinks that’s a bad idea post below. 



And to make sure you do it in whatever less enjoyable way you choose, you can make nedarim in line with GYE’s TaPHSiC method.
I wouldn't recommend this. Trying to act out , even in a less enjoyable way, can make things worse

I masturbated last night. It was sort of a success though because I told myself I was going to wait 5 minutes and I did. After 2 minutes I'd basically lost that desperate urge, but the voice inside me which loves predicting failure made me do it anyway. Better luck next tim, hopefully 10 minutes or more. Thanks for everyones' support.

Goldfish wrote on 02 Feb 2022 16:23:

What support?

Hey, I mean a virtual hug is nice , but that’s not the real thing. 

How about some real support?
Plenty friends here ready to give that!!!!

I meant the various private messages but also the very fact that I know Ican post here gives me support.

I'm not in a good place right now. The day before yesterday, I travelled quite a few hours by train. I fantasized almost the entire time as well as looking at any pritzus i could see. When I got home I masturbated. For the past few days in general I've fantaiszed a lot as well as eaten a lot. All this has made me feel out of control. Add to that lying around in bed until 15 minutes before work and davening very little and I'm a right mess. Feeling very depressed and distressed. Just thought I'd share, in the only place I can.

Were you able to beat your last highest streak or at least match it? If you were, then that is a success that will likely lead to other successes. If you weren't able to do that (and even if you were able to do that) you still have an opportunity to use this stumbling block as something you actually step on to move up and forward instead of falling back again and stumbling over it. 

If there's anything in specific that can help you or bring you to do this, please post below. I can say that in regards to my most recent fall yesterday when I watched p, I took it upon myself to call apple support today to put in the appropriate hishtadlut to hopefully have the problem I have fixed.

Goldfish wrote on 09 Feb 2022 19:12:

Let's try to focus on the positive. 
You fantasized almost the entire time. So there were times that you did not fantasize. I'm sure there were times in the last few days that you did try to control yourself. 
As the Steipler said: "Even if you fall often, don't underestimate the tremendous zechus of each success. If one succeeds in overcoming his burning desire, the amount of holiness that he brings upon himself and the spiritual words is tremendous, like Yosef Hatzadik. It also repairs much of the spiritual damage caused by previous falls. Over time, he'll be able to undo all the spiritual damage he has caused."