Hey all. 
I'm strugglingWithMyself, and I've been struggling for five or six years. I found GYE a few years ago and didn't use it for about a year. When I first used it properly I was on the teen forum, and I managed to get a few weeks clean, but whenever I fell I would then spend the next few weeks lying about it. This time though the streak was about a month, then I kept falling for months. Now I'm back.

My day to day struggle is with masturbation - but when I have devices without filters I end up watching very quickly. 

I'm hoping to get some accountability from this thread and to maybe get some tips.

Thanks to everyone on GYE, who the reading of their posts have helped me so much so far.

If I were you I would go after some love and understanding, as well as accountability. When someone knows who you are and what you desire, and they call you to schmooze or they pick up the phone when you call them, you'd be surprised how much more you can accomplish. So maybe exchange phone numbers with someone and make some calls.

strugglingWithMyself wrote on 02 Nov 2021 13:52:

We're following your progress and we hope to keep on hearing good news from you!
It is important to stay motivated. One way to do this is to celebrate your successes. Take small steps toward change, and celebrate each time you get it right.

strugglingWithMyself wrote on 02 Nov 2021 13:52:

Welcome aboard!

I get inspired every time I see a Bochur putting in effort into this test. If only I was involved with GYE as a Bochur my brain would most likely be a healthier place.

By trying now, you're giving yourself the ability to really enjoy your future life Bez"H.

​Looking forward to monitoring your progress.

​Personally I highly recommend speaking to a rebbe/professinal as well, as that proves to be very effective.  

The links in my signature are very helpful!!!

Wishing you tremendous success.
Excellence

strugglingWithMyself wrote on 02 Nov 2021 13:52:

Think about how you really don't want to struggle with this during your marriage and use that for motivation 

Post. Then post some more. And some more. When in doubt if you posted enough post more. Let it all out here because its anonymous and no one knows who you are so you can.


Im a bachur myself and dont really have a ton of time on my hands for GYE but if you want to ever schmooze my email is evedhashem1836@gmail.com 

Hey all. I have stayed clean and managed to fight a small urge last night. I have not had a hard challenge yet this time, but I think I am ready for them. Thank you for responding everyone - each ifthe responses make me feel much more supported.

I have BH been in contact with a rebbe about this, but he is extremely busy and I feel bad talking to him when there are many other people he needs to support.

One thing I am worried about is books - I love reading, specifically fantasy, and sci-fi, but it is really hard to find kosher books in this genre. I am not going to the library, because I know that when i went there I found inappropriate books but even at home they aren’t perfect

Also one of the books I am studying in school is extremely inappropriate and unfortunately I probably can’t change it. Any advice with that?

My father just said that he wants to put a second filter on my phone. I’m really not exited by it - my current filter is very strong, and I can’t get past it. 

Any advice on how to deal?

Also I sometimes wish that someone else was in charge of my filter not my father - because he is more strict than I need, and/or strict in the wrong areas.

(Please don’t take this the wrong way. I am extremely grateful that my parents care for me, and want to protect me- but it is a bit much)

Thanks 

strugglingWithMyself 

Maybe look into the option of having Yossie Strickman of projecttrust.net/ manage the filter for you...

Finding someone to manage the filter is not a problem ( I have a rebbe and some friends who can manage it).  My father wants to manage the filter - I don’t think I can convince him to let someone else manage it.

strugglingWithMyself wrote on 03 Nov 2021 20:42:

Try to get him to have a conversation with Yossie Strickman. He specializes is bridging the gap and building trust between parents and their children.

How can I contact him?
I would love to, but my filter blocks that website.

strugglingWithMyself wrote on 03 Nov 2021 19:41:

If you have a sincere talk with your father so that he understands where you're weak, you might be happier. But I think your father managing your internet access is pretty neat as long as he's willing to accept who you really are deep down.

Why does your father want a second filter?
I emailed to you that phone number

I'm not sure why he wants. From the conversation, it seems because I am spending more time on my phone (which I think is GYE now, although it was before watching appropriate videos) he thinks I am doing something wrong, and therefore wants to put a new filter on?

Maybe he's reading what you post?