Hello everyone
I've been browsing this site for a long time but never made a post. Just had a fall and am starting to get really worried about reaching new lows so thought why not. 
a little bit about me, i am a baal teshuva from a troubled background. As a teen i had horrible struggles with every chet you could possibly imagine, drugs, pgam habrit, relationships, everything. as a young adult i began the process of teshuva and began it hard, when i caught a little taste of the Ziv haTorah i went in and b''h my journey has been beautiful. When i first learned about pgam habrit about a year and a half ago and began my journey in this area it wasn't so hard at first. I had yirat shamayim; i recognized the damage it did to me and managed to stay relatively clean for pretty significant stretches of time. fast forward to a few months ago, i came home to my parent's for the first time in many years and had to adjust from being in my tight knit jewish community where i lived on my own - my parents are secular, and while they respect me and i love them being at home with them has been a very isolating experience. I try to learn beautiful Torah all day as much as i can and battle my yetzer but there are nisyonot at every turn and I feel i have no support other than the chesed Hashem gives me in my limmud and in the escape i get, three times a day, to the only chassidic minyan in my city, 20 minute drive away from me. as the summer has progressed the gaps in between my falls have gotten shorter and shorter. this week i fell twice in one week, just two days apart, probably for the first time since I started trying to be shmira. I need help. I have no friends here. All my past friends live lifestyles that I can't engage with anymore and we have been out of touch for years, and all the people in the community here where my parents live are older and are very sweet but i have no one i can turn to day to day just to laugh, to have a chaver to smile with and be in simcha with. 
I don't know what i expect writing this but i get a lot out of reading all of your threads throughout my days - i will stay in touch and be''h on the way to 90 days now. May all of you be nitchazek 

Wow, You’re a beautiful yid! Thank you for sharing. 

Wow! Your story is so inspiring! How you have such strength to do what you're doing all on your own with no emotional support, it's so incredible and pure for Hashem!

Why don't you try out the following, that you might like:

Check out Rabbi Shafier's shmuzes (www.theshmuz.com or on The Shmuz app). They have been a game-changer for me. Added so much depth and meaning to all avodas Hashem. He has speeches on almost every topic and they're great! Check it out!

2) Check out his series on tayvah The Fight (please see link below in my signature). It's genius!

3) Check out The Battle of the Generation. It teaches the right perspective on this battle. Another incredible free resource. (Please see link below in my signature.)

4) Read the Living Emunah books by Rabbi David Ashear. (Available in any Jewish bookstore or on Amazon. Also you can sign up for his daily 5 minute email on www.livingemunah.com.)

Wishing you much hatzlocha. Keep in touch and feel free to PM me for anything.
(P.S. if any of the links don't work, please enter them manually because the app keeps messing up the links for me.)

Welcome!
Wow! 
You are awesome!

In a lot of ways all of us here are ba'alei teshuva...
That's what we are here for.
​The only difference is that most of us grew up in religious homes and have to figure out how we ended up in such a spot... (Therapy helps figure this out a lot. Like broken or dysfunctional homes or not connecting emotionally with parents etc.) whereas by you at least you have clarity (I think...) about that aspect. 
For me also isolation is a killer. maybe try to learn with a chavrusah on the phone instead of learning yourself... even if just for the social life...

Hatzlacha!