Hi there to everyone.

I've been lurking out on this site for some time with a very nice streak I'm th beginning, the last few weks though have slipped into the constant in and out of falls.
So bezh I'm going to start again, and decided that I will post  a thread Which will probably be a huge help, i hope in the coming days to write more, but it just wanted to take plunge now and get this started before I back out.

​So a gut yom tov to all, with wishes of being re mekabel the Torah each in our personal life and to take koach from this tov tov on our journey onward!!

Hi welcome!
So glad you decided to start posting.
Staying connected is really helping me stay clean.

Please keep us updated.

Hatzlacha
HappyYid

Welcome, and I'm glad to see you taking the first step. Hopefully you'll enjoy the freedom.

Keep coming back!

A gezunten summer!

I hope in the next few days to write more, Right though I'm busy and don't  have Time and head to write, but for now Ill just write a quick update.

bh yom tov went well, although it was actually a time of nisyanos bh bh things went well.

so bh I'm holding day 5

SO a few months ago after a endless cycle of over 10 years of up and down, off this stuff for a few days(maybe 1-2or maybe longer) and then back in again, I came here.
The truth is that I saw this site 2-3 years ago and looked around a bit, but for whatever reason I didn't get into it and I slipped out it and forgot about it (of course continuing my regular cycle of life).
But a few months ago I don't know what exactly happened but I had this decision that this has to end and if I want something to actually change this time I gotta to do something more concrete, and then it came into my head you know there's that site you saw some time back time to go on (this was all going through my head shabbos morning through out davening).
so I started then reading through things on the site and in the forum, and bh I had then a streak of 7 weeks, something i think I had once in the last 10 years and that was during the period I was engaged which obviously is a different situation from regular daily life.
And then a few weeks ago I fell and although I tried to get up right away and restart, I guess I didn't try hard enough and again it was up and down.
so now I'm going at it again but this time with the thread which I hope to keep updated (although I'm not a writer and it's very hard for me compose my thoughts for writing, I'll still going to try) and bezh we'll see hatzlacha.

About the the streak of 7 weeks that I had,

It itself was a beautiful time, something precious that I enjoyed immensely at the time and is tremendously valuable in its own right.

IN addition it also shows me what i can do and what's possible, and that if I work on this and put in time  and energy (both mental and emotional) I can do it again and maybe even more.

right now I'm not really looking for 90 days, my goal is more is to keep it going one day at time as long as it goes but that when I fall to catch myself and stand up as quickly as possible.
( Not that I would mind a stream, and more then that, if I want to be able to get up right away I would have to in a place of awareness and determination to fight this even before a potential fall which may avoid it in the fist place, but it's just not the goal)

Bh holding 10 days!!

Now starts the phase where I'm starting to wear off the initial inspiration of my decision and it starts to be more of a struggle.
but with hashems help I will be strong and things will be good

Wow amazing!!
Keep on going.
You could do it!

I find it helps me to focus each day on being grateful that I'm sober for that day.

I specifically try to think about all the gifts that my sobriety has given me, today. For example, I'm more present for my wife, my kids. At work. Able to deal with stress better - working my program hasn;t just stopped me from acting out, it's given me some tools to deal with real life on its own terms.

silentbattle wrote on 28 May 2021 03:32:

Very true, and yes I appreciate every individual day that I'm normal tremendously for itself, but not so much do I use it as a tool to keep the day good forward on.

I'll try to incorporate this in my battle plan.
Thanks

Day 12

So  today was quite a stressful day and I was very despondent about other things going on but bh it went over smoothly with regards to this challenge, which ago a few weeks ago would have been very different.

The urges were big but BH I was able to ignore them and shift away, definitely my stage now in my streak with my resolve more recent and firm helped and if this would happen further down the line it would be much more difficult, but I thank hashem for today and and Daven for the strength to deal with what comes when it comes.

Good shabbos to all!

3 weeks bh!!

Hard but trying.
The hardest thing is that there this feeling that I'm either way going to fall back into this and it won't last so why fight now, just give in and go for it now.

Obviously I know that 1, I could really Change (as evidence by many people here on the forum), and more importantly 2, that every day and hour is valuable and important in it's own right regardless of what happens later.
but it's still hard

from the book: Positive Vision By Rabbi Avrohom Neuberger

YH: I know that I won’t be able to stop forever anyway. I’m eventually going to mess up and break my streak and it will all be worthless, so I may as well throw in the towel right now.

Response: I don’t have to stop forever. All I have to do is win today. How hard can that be? Even the worst drunk can stay sober for one day! I’ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

25 days!! BH
thank you hashem for 25 wonderful clean days!

Zz613 wrote on 10 Jun 2021 18:56:

Great attitude, keep it up! You remind me of when I first started out on GYE, good memories.
Keep the posts coming!