Hi everyone, 

I am married for just over a year.

I am falling on the internet. Marriage doesn't solve it!

I am finding things about my wife appearances which I don't like - e.g. double chin.

If anyone could suggest some tools would be greatly appreciated. 

All the best.

M

Hi!
Did you check out the BB forum, there are lots of good threads there that you may find helpful.
Just let GYE know that you are married now and would like access to there. (I'm assuming you registered while you were still single so you probably don't have access now).

Hatzlacha!

military613 wrote on 19 Apr 2021 21:43:


Hi welcome back!
I read through some of past posts and it seems you have a healthy mindset to the struggle.

I assume you were aware that marriage doesn't solve the issue...at least that is what they say on the forum.



Nonetheless, I keep hearing marriage doesn't help and I'm trying what I can to be in the best possible place by the time I start dating/marriage.
When I read your post my heart skipped a beat as i can only hope and pray that I can go into my next stage in life clean and sober. 

I can't offer much but thank you for the reality check

Yup. Marriage solves things for a small percentage of people, but not for most people. It's most likely to help people who have made being clean a priority and have a plan. It helps much less for people who have no plan but are sure they will automatically become clean when they are married.

Some great free resources for committing to break free and for developing a plan:

Great ebook: The Battle of the Generation 
Great series of classes from Rabbi Shafier: The Fight.
Please see my signature below for the links.

Hi, 
I can relate to you a bit, as i had similar thoughts you have. Marriage does NOT solve the problem although it can help....the way I helped myself was by loving my wife by who she is and giving her the love she needs and I cant say that it wasn't hard.....oh boy was it hard.....and it stills is! (I'm married for a bit longer then you).

But stay strong buddy! there is light at the end of every tunnel. by giving your wife the she needs I can say that you will get everything you need and all the other things will slowly fall away.

Stay strong! keep it up!

military613 wrote on 19 Apr 2021 21:43:

Please give us a little more history, how many ye a rs have you been acting out? What does your acting out consist of? Did anything ever work for yyou How does acting out effect your life.