I was in a place with no internet for four weeks and it was a male-only environment I honestly had the time of my life. I learn torah everyday without any impure thoughts. Exactly a month I have cleaner than I have been than almost two years. Today I "fell" in mostly shmirat einayim. I found a video from the olympics that was was definitly not modest and was compelled to watch. I now have a filter on my phone and will filter my computer blis neder as well.

Your story is grounded and powerful. 

I am proud to say that I have not had zera levtala  for 225 days. Shmirat einayim is much less of a challenge than it used to be. I remember coming here many months ago when I had wasted seed for the first time I could remember in years. I broke down and realized the hole of porn and degeneracy I had fallen in, while the fight keeps going I have given my yetzar hara an upper cut punch.

Keep up the attitude!

a stumble but not a fall

I found out a family member of mine has an unfiltered phone and it was absolutely filled with every kind of filth imaginable. Instead of getting me excited I wanted to throw up. Now I am getting urges I have not had in months. This was the first time I had saw the "hard stuff" for 286 days. Now I am trying to fight it but the desire is getting really strong.

Happened to me too at a similar point. Takes a lot more effort than your standard day (for me This "heightened effort time" lasted maybe 10-20 days) but you have to push through and end it NOW. 

Don't look at anything else. And don't act out.

If you do it will just make it worse and harder to get back out.

You hit a little ditch in the road. Don't make it a crater.

And even if you make it a crater at least you still have a ladder to get out. But if you act out multiple times will get much harder..

Which is not saYing you can act out.. because who says you won't act out again?? Too risky.


Please continue to stay strong. For yourself and for everyone else