Cesare wrote on 04 May 2021 18:18:

Wow congratulations! I'm so happy for you! 
You should feel proud!
Hashem is proud too!
Keep it up.


Umm did I understand this right? I'm sorry to inform you but it's never over, the yh will always be there to haunt you. Just be prepared. 
Sorry if I misunderstood you...

Wow thats great! Being so close to 60 (which isn't even 90) is incredible!

Just a quick note the journey is not "over" once you hit 90 its still very possible to fall. The difference is there is a feeling of "I don't do that shtuss" and enough experience saying no that its easier but not over

I lost my will and saw a few pictures for a few moments then got so visibly repulsed with myself I quite literally physically hurt myself in frustration. I turned it off after the first few pictures. I am beefing up all the filters on my devices. I had found a loophole in my phone. I decided to keep my count for mb which I have been clean of for more than 75 days.

This looks like a case of "yerida letzorech Aliya"
BEZH by closing the loopholes you will be able to stay on the straight and narrow.

anxiously awaiting updates  

IMHO, I only reset the counter if I either consciously open up a p site or act out. Some people here reset it for far less. For me at least, I would probably get unmotivated if I resetted the counter for every slip. I think slips are part of the journey and it's great you're aware of them and trying to fix them. I also can only imagine the nachat ruach of HKB"H when you are slipping and suddenly get a hold of yourself and stop in your tracks. Of course that doesn't mean we should be looking forward to that. But I think they are a natural part of this journey.
btw congratulations on your success so far!!
As long as you never put this behind you, you will keep thriving... don't ever stop taking the precautions.

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Well, here I am again... The exact same thing happened again. I did the exact same thing and looked at borderline pornography. Did not waste any seed so my count is still valid. I have had 6 straight days of urges so strong I could not work. Today I could not do it anymore and gave in to look. The urge is less strong now and my libido is maintainable. In 8 days I will have not masturbated in 90 days which is nice. I have to read some issurei biah soon because I made a neder to after I looked at immodesty.

Cesare wrote on 30 May 2021 23:26:

Is there more to the story?


When you gave that look, that's not what made anything maintainable. Ask around, that's just not how it works. I don't buy it. 

Perhaps you did something else to distract yourself? That would be good.

If not, what may have happened is that after looking, you were filled with guilt, and that is why you feel that the urge is less strong. In that case, it's not the greatest. For most of us, the guilt just leads to a viscous cycle of white knuckling then acting out out of frustration. Not a great recipe. Not something that I would recommend. 

Sorry, I don't buy the "I took a look and the urge is weaker" thing. It's like trying to starve a wild animal to death. With it's last strengths, it thrashes and withers, begging for food. Out of fear, you throw it a bite. The monster calms down as it eats it's meal. Instead of starving it like you were supposed to you fed it and kept it alive. Now that it has what to feast on it will grow stronger and come back to bite you.  

When I am in the moment, sometimes I cannot help but look (or touch as the case may be) but one thing I know for sure is that I am feeding the monster. I am putting myself through more suffering. 

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I have had a somewhat successful first ninety days but I think I should start from zero again for the slips I had in the form. Shabbat was a struggle and we almost wasted seed but resisted.

Hello everyone, recently I stopped GYE and I started to return to viewing immodesty every other day and I need to get back on the ninety-day count. I have overcome wasting seed and have not done it for 107 days and counting. But I still have a severe problem with viewing immodesty. I am gonna try being active on the site again to help with the problem. I made a neder to read a perek issurei biah everytime I "visually fall." This has made it so I have a degree of liability and it does not get too out of control.

Cesare wrote on 24 Jun 2021 23:56:

How about a neder to give 20 bucks for every fall! (For the next week)

Hello everyone, due to the immodesty of yesterday I sadly had an emission. I think I will consider making a neder to give financial tzedakah every time it happens.

Started to go where my eyes should not be today, in a matter of a minute or two or perhaps even seconds I closed my computer thinking about GYE. The imagery is in my mind but it is much less bad than before I started GYE. I have a desire to go back but I am not going to.

Cesare wrote on 06 Jul 2021 17:38:

You are a classic example of “Eizehu Gibor Hakovesh Es Yitzro” !
Thank you for the amazing inspiration... keep it up