I know I can beat this. 
I have been fighting for what feels like forever (I'm only 24), and have had my ups and downs, but I need to put this behind me once and for all. I have never opened up enough to anyone about my struggle and how bad it really is, and I think that it may be the final step I need to take to get free from this. I've dreaded and avoided reaching out to others forever because I've been too embarrassed. I have, b"H, a great reputation in my community and amongst my friends, yet this eats away at me when they aren't watching. HKB"H expects more from me, and I expect more from myself.  Hopefully becoming more active on GYE will help bring me to a place where I can not only get on with my life, but help others as well.

Hatzlocha to everyone on here-you're all incredible and HaShem loves you!

You’ve come to the right place, brother.
Keep posting and reading the material available on this wonderful site.

Wishing you much success!

Good luck on your journey
With these challenges it seems that we could be two faced 
showing one thing to the community and everyone around us and another to ourselves
We have to know that we are humans and born with urges 
we must do what we can to overcome them but they are natural 
i want to say that i really think that we shouldnt seclude ourseves with the internet or our phones this can lead to our demise
and we must know that the words of the torah purify the soul keep on delving into the words of the torah and spread it 

B. Present wrote on 08 Mar 2021 15:39:


There is a very important fact that we need to internalize which is that this struggle is very normal, and everybody deals with it on some level or another. Having a desire for this doesn’t mean that there is anything negative about a person. We say twice daily in Shema, - do not explore inappropriate sights, after which you stray. The passuk is addressing every person in every generation. Even chashuve people and those who lived centuries ago had to deal with this issue. Likewise, when talking about this desire, Chazal tell us - that a person’s nefesh craves it.
Chazal aren’t referring specifically to bad people; they are addressing every single person. When a person realizes this, he won’t condemn himself as being no good when he encounters a nisayon. If, however, a person gets upset at himself, then he won’t be able to move forward in the healing process. Instead, he will claim that he is doomed for failure due to what he perceives as an abnormal challenge.

We also to know the tremendous rewards a person gets when he is able to withstand this nisayon. This knowledge should be at the forefront of our mind, and should act as a reminder for why it’s worthwhile to put up the fight against his yetzer hora.  The Steipler writes  that all the negative descriptions Chazal have for someone who is nichshal can be turned into a reward when one withstands the nisayon and is misgaber on his ta’avah. He then brings upon himself and the entire world, a level of kedushah comparable to that of Yosef hatzaddik!

B. Present wrote on 08 Mar 2021 15:39:

Welcome!
This website is a great place to share whatever you want without revealing who you are, so theres nothing to be embarrassed of... It helps tremendously to post and you don't have to hide anything. Go all out.
(Of course if you are up to it its great to speak to someone real. Its really worth it).
Hatzlacha! We are all in the same boat.

Hi! Welcome!

Please, for your own sake stick around and post regularly.

I like you was too ashamed to speak about my own struggle...that was until I realized if I want out I need to seek help.

I would not be clean today if I have not shared my struggle with the chevra here and with GYE partners.

You have come to the right place.

lets get the party started!
what have you tried?
Do you have filters in place?
Have a plan when an urge arises?
Anyone you can talk to in person that you trust?

​I have honestly only tried filtering my devices and learning Torah (in general and specifically about this inyan). Which just leads to spurts of great times and stretches of horrible falls. 

​So I do have filters in place. But in terms of a plan I have things that I try to do when an urge comes, but I'm terrible at actually pulling myself away to do those things (like read a paragraph of x, or listen to a short recording I starred on WhatsApp that I really connect to...). Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. 

And in terms of in-person people to speak to, I haven't built up enough courage for that, even though I do feel like it would take a weight off my shoulders. Every time I feel like I want to ask someone close to me to be a partner of mine for accountability I never actually bring myself to do it...I just panic and abort, tell myself I'll just beat it on my own eventually....which is naive and nonsensical. Trying to build up the courage to come clean to my WebChaver...hopefully I do it soon. 

I have Rebbeim I am close with that deal with these issues often I'm sure, but the fact that I've waited this long to come clean makes it so much harder for me to tell them. Embarrassed to admit, not only that I fall to this taiva, but that I let it happen without asking for help for so long. 

It takes great effort to decide to change, and even more effort to stick to that resolution for even a short time. As we know, effort is all that matters, and every instant of effort is priceless. The battle against desire is a challenging, lifelong battle, and it was not created to be easy. It is supposed to be a struggle, and the odds are strong that some battles will be lost.

But by keeping his determination to fight despite the difficulty, a person can achieve the ultimate success: emerging victorious from the most intense battle ever. A person should feel proud and encouraged about every ounce of effort he has exerted. As a result, he will emerge stronger from his errors rather than losing his will to fight.

Hi Bpresent. I’m having a hard time doing the quote (I use the ap, if anyone can explain thanks) so il just reply here. 
Reaching out to real ppl does not have to be to your own close friends or to your own rebbi. There’s lots of rabanim out there that don’t know you who you can call up and say everything to without as much embarrassment, and he will now become your close rebbe. I don’t think it has to be your regular ppl. The same with friends, there are ppl you can be in touch with and meet from this forum who can become your new friends (for example myself lol, you can pm me and il give you my google voice number to shmooz) I think this will be much easier for you and us. although perhaps real old friends and Rabbeim may be even better, I don’t think that’s what the olam means here. 
hope this helps. Hatzlacha!!

Welcome!

As of now don't worry about talking to anyone. Right now you are way too removed from that. Trying to picture yourself doing that may scare you off.

First, be here. Hang around. Post and read. Read and read. There is so much knowledge to gain here. You clearly have the fight. Many of us do, but we didn't know how to use it properly. GYE gives you the opportunity to fight properly with long term results.

Hatzlacha!

Hi! Welcome! You should know that feelings of shame themselves are part of our nisayon, because they could stop us in any area of our avodas Hashem, and that increases the reward of everything you do in any area.

Please check out these great free resources that will help you develop the right perspective and more:

My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Grant400 wrote on 09 Mar 2021 01:52:

Are you taking applications to be your talmid or shadow you?