Hi all!!

I’m married for 8 years now. I’ve been on and off this site over the years. I’ve BH gained a lot, I’ve spoke years back to reb Dov and Reb one day at a time, and others. I’ve been following some threads especially the recent story ones and yeshiva guy’s and others. 

I struggle from time to time with my lust addiction and maybe I will one day write it all out like others have done recently in a story format.

Unfortunately, today from one minute to the next, I fell (was עובר) with something (or more accurate: someone) way beyond anything I’ve ever done before! Oiy. 

I’ve reached out to real people in the past and I now plan on reaching out again to a known rav involved with such things and also with Regesh network. 

additinaly I am starting this new thread and hope to update it every day or few days to help attain accountability and to be in touch with the olam. Although regularly I’m fine and I don’t have anything to update, still I will bl”n update often, in order to help for when the urges hit. 

So today was a terrible fall, I doubt it’s necessary to write out the extent of it. I’m restarting my 90 day journey   And I hope to hear from the olam and to update everyone in the coming days.

Welcome (back)!
Hatzlocha on your new journey. may this be the the beginning of a lifelong journey towards true purity.
How can we make it work this time better than in the past?
Hatzlocha

Hi thanks. 

I’m open to suggestions. So far I’m gona call this Rav who deals with sa groups abs ask him what he suggests. Also i left a message at regesh and see if they can set me up to meet with one of their professionals. Additionally as mentioned I plan on updating here. And I should prob get a partner from gye as well, to update, not sure how to go about finding the right one

Hi Mords, great to have you back!

We should not be harder on ourselves than our loving Father Who made the rules. If we mess up, we should give ourselves a pat on the back for working so hard and then plan how to get back on the right track. Then we should regret our mistake, do teshuva to clean it up, and move on. No matter what happens, we must remember that although our battles are tough they are also opportunities to succeed and reach greatness.

We must never forget that Hashem loves us despite our sins. No matter how badly we fall, Hashem still cares about us. He never gets angry with us, no matter how badly we sin. He loves us and values us unconditionally because we are His creations.

Thanks!

DavidT wrote on 05 Mar 2021 14:10:

What a post!
thank you!

Thanks chevra again! Looking forward to update the olam and hope to find a mehalech to get a sponsor/partner. Gut shabbos all!

Gut Voch! Shabbos was good bh. The Thursday night fall is still hitting hard, but BH it did not get in way of me and my wife over shabbos.

Hi all. The olam can note that I changed my username, to something I feel appropriate for this sight and this fight. I would really have named myself מנוחה ושמחה אור ליהודים but had to keep it shorter. 

Either way I’d like to publicly thank Ish MiGrodna and True Servant for reaching out and being able to talk to them by phone, and to Hashem Help Me for his time and advice!

Welcome!

very fitting name!
BEZH it will be a reality...
but really you should be comforted and happy with the fact your on GYE and overcoming your struggle!
 Everyday we should be thankful we have (had) 
The strength to overcome our desires.

Hi chevra. I’m B”H doing good, it’s now a full week after the big fall, I am clean for a week and I made appointments with a therapist and a rov to plan for the long run. Will Keep ya posted

I assume it’s better if I post the story in a separate thread. So il be cutting and pasting, and il rename this thread. 

b”h did a lot for recovery this week, and although I was very busy, I took out time to talk on phone to chevra here and to HHM, and have made appointments with hopefully the right ppl. Starting with therapist Tom morning! Hatzlacha to all amd thank you for the thank yous. Very much appreciated

I’d like to share with the olam that tonight I checked out my anonymous email adress (which is the one I use for this sight and for the chevra here), and I see that a frum girl who I’ve given this email to and was in Touch in the past, emailed me and sent a pic etc. A week ago this would have meant to automatically reply and wait till she replies back and get all carried away for the next few hours and maybe days. And even it would be during a tekufa where i was particularly trying to improve I may not reply but maybe would save the email and pic for when I knew that I might ‘need’ it for a furure shvacha day. However tonight as i saw it and saw the pic I fully deleted the whole thread and deleted my whole trash as well. B”H that’s a step!

Another thing which happened tonight is that I have this one good friend who knows a bit about my struggles (and I know about his) and we were in touch tonight for a while and after asking him how he’s been with these stuff I just told him my whole struggle and about the big fall and B”H he was very understating and encouraging! So now besides for the chevra here which I was in touch with I also have a ‘real’ friend who I will bez”h he updating! 

thanks for listening

Menucha Vsimcha wrote on 12 Mar 2021 09:14:

This is YOSEF HATZADIK in action... literally  

Menucha Vsimcha wrote on 12 Mar 2021 09:14:

That really is amazing and must have taken alot of Gevurah on your part! Just wondering,perhaps it would be simpler to just delete the whole email account? I am sure GYE can figure out a way to keep your account active with a new email address...
Hatzlocha!