Hi everyone, I’m new to gye and looking for chizuk. I am married for 2 yrs and learning in kollel. Just so other people can see how big the prob is. I am a very respected yungerman who went to “brisk” and other top yeshivos.  I really got stuck in the mud from before I got married. I had no clue how to deal with it, both the masturbating and watching pornography. B’h I found gye. I still struggle even with filters on all my devices. Somehow or the other I get sucked in. I would say I fall about twice a month. I would love different perspectives from people on how they stay clean. What’s the better filter system webchaver type or gentech type? I try to make kabolos but many times when a urge comes. I can’t think straight and drop all kabolos what do I do? Thanks everyone

Welcome!
You came to the right place. The people on here are fighters just like you. I am fairly new as well,but check out what the experienced people on here have to say. Joining the 90 day count is certainly a good way to start.
Hatzlocha!

Welcome Kedusha!

You arrived at the right place. You have the fight in you, you just didn't learn the proper way to achieve a long term victory. Stick around and shteig.

Kabalos are great, but without internal changes they crumble too.

What you will learn here is that lust is optional. Our whole life we are conned into thinking that it is a need. We train ourselves that we must respond when feeling this physical sensation. In reality it's not like that. Lust is a feeling, it's an urge to do something. An urge that can be ignored with no consequences whatsoever.

What I would recommend as a starting point for you, is the following. Take out a piece of paper and jot down all the pros of acting out, and all the cons as well. Come to a clear conclusion about whether it's worth it not only on a spiritual level, but on a materialistic level as well. Let it become clear to you that you will be happier without it. 

Now you can start working on changing your perspective on lust. Browse the forums, and post daily about your struggles. Your victories and your losses. It works wonders. 

Hatzlacha!

                                   Grant 

Hi! Welcome! Why don't you check out these great free resources that will help you change your perspective:

Great book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Also, you can sign up for the daily GYE Boost emails/ whatsapps at www.gyeboost.org.

Wishing you much success! Please stick around and keep in touch with us.

I must say, I misjudged this guy. I believed he was here for the long haul, and I wrote a reply.

Nowadays, I try to first gauge if a new poster is sincere, or has a moment of guilt, posts, then, sobbing, runs back to his pacifiers. If it's the latter, taking a few minutes to write a reply, is a waste of valuable time.

Oh, well. Goodbye Mr. Kedusha. Hope you come back one day. 

I'd just like to share a different perspective that I've heard in the name of Reb Moshe Feinstein.

There was a person who was in the field of kiruv and wasn't having much success. Many people who he would be mekarev would go back to where they came from. He went to Reb Moshe and told him that he is a total failure as he just can't get anyone to do become frum. Reb Moshe responded, you are super successful. You got a Jew to do Teshuvah for one day! This that he didn't continue today, does't take away anything from the mitzvah he did yesterday.

So, Mr. Kedushah is a hero! A "Bar bei rav dechad yoma"! and that's inconsequential if he's back tomorrow and although I do like your posts, I do hope you're wrong on this one

Grant400 wrote on 05 Jan 2021 16:37:

Sometimes we are zoche to see the fruit of our labor and sometimes we will just never know.......

We just never know how our actions or words can effect another.

You definitely didn't waste any time from my perspective.

Grant400 wrote on 05 Jan 2021 16:37:

R Grant, I respectfully totally disagree with you. You never know when that post you write will make the difference between the short term or long term poster. But even more than that,there is a strong possibility that he did read your post and is working on the items you mentioned or got  general inspiration. He may just not be a big public poster.
Keep on giving the inspiration to all!

Ok, chastisement accepted. Thank you SY, Zedj and Lou.

I see I gotta be more positive. I guess I'm just frustrated, because I know how much someone can gain from hanging around here, and I feel regret that they aren't utilizing it to the full extent. 

BTW Reb grant,
I just want you to know that many of us actually follow what you post for chizuk for us personally. So when you post and think that this thread is only between you and the person asking for chizzuk; it is not so. 
On a personal note, everytime I see your name I look to see what you wrote.
You are a real inspiration to all of us.
Keep posting. Keep posting. Keep posting 
Chazzak v'amatz

Eyes

P.s We love your stories. even though it freaks me out.
Still I wait with baited breath for the next installment to unveil itself

Good night 

Eyes

How's it going? 

Maybe start a thread in the 90 days section and post daily especially on harder days. 
It helps a lot