Shalom.
I thought to "reintroduce myself," in order to provide a more accurate account of my past challenges up to today.
I am a ba'al teshuvah since 2005. It was about seven years ago, that I first learned of GYE through an add online at Arutz Sheva. At that time porn was not an issue; nor did I have Internet access at my place of residence - by choice. I did not even own any type of an electronic device with Internet capability. However, once, after inadvertently watching a sexually explicit music video online, I became inquisitive. I started viewing other videos online at You Tube, at the university, where I had access to a computer.
Sometime later, I joined GYE. I realized that even one photograph of a licentious nature would negatively impact my kedushah. ​I began to receive the chizuk emails from GYE. At my apartment, I was Internet free. Even so, MB had been a habit since my youth; so, I shamefully admit that this continued to be a problem. Despite all that I learned, I was still challenged; even after reading a lot of material on shmiras habris.
Eventually I got a small tablet; yet, I refrained from acquiring wifi at my apartment, even though the service was included with my rent. I knew from my reading at GYE, how serious porn addiction was; so, I made every effort to prevent the occurrence. However, I got wifi eventually, and was o.k for a while, until I found the flaws in my electronic device, as well as the back doors to the filter(s) that I had installed. I am still challenged today; and, I consider myself to be a low level addict.
Relatively speaking, I know that I am not at all immune, and do not want the situation to worsen; I would like to "stay out of the gutter" of shmutz one hundred percent. 

Congrats on coming here! I’m sure you’ll find warmth and oneness in the chevrah here, we all want to see you succeed and will help you get the tools necessary to get there. 



Good luck!

Welcome. It should be with great hatzocha b'ezras Hashem.

Welcome!  It sounds like you were able to identify the problem relatively early before it got really bad. That's really good!  Stick around and participate on the forum.  I'H, you'll be able to get it under control. 

Can you explain what you mean here?
How to you define the levels of addiction?
is there really such a thing? Or is it that either you are or your not an addict?
Isnt addiction a disorder?

Shlemiel wrote on 04 Aug 2020 22:00:

Story of my life, Shlemiel. Except not since 2005, since 2007.

My hope for you is that you will be able to just "admit" or "guiltily admit" that this continued to be a problem. Some say that the difference between "shame" and "guilt" is that:

• Shame: I am wrong.
• Guilt: I did something wrong.

You are totally not wrong, Shlemiel. You, I, and others here have just done something wrong. Yes, pornography and masturbation are shameful, but the sooner we chip away at the years of feeling ashamed, the better off we will be in addressing these areas.

Welcome to the GYE community and I hope it helps you at least as much as it has helped me.

Thank you. May H'Shem grant me discernment, so that I can reframe my past negative deeds; to be able to admit guilt, instead of feeling shame, seems like an approach that would open up many avenues of psychological relief.

 Welcome back!

You have been away for so long, we almost need a reintroduction about your reintroduction.

Just kidding! Great to hear from you again. What's up? How's it going? 

Shlemiel wrote on 02 Nov 2020 23:42:

Ok, so start writing buddy. Or will have to wait a few weeks/months to hear from you again?  

kindly respond to what I did write.

I felt like I was about to fall, so I decided to go onto the forum. Perhaps, an update would suffice: I am trying to focus on bolstering myself through my yiddishkeit; in other words, I am taking the positive approach of strengthening myself in kedushah, rather than focusing on avoidance of aveiros. Thank you for asking. Shalom.

Focusing on the positive is very beneficial in this challenge due to this issue's unique characteristic of causing a tremendous lack of self worth. It is most difficult to focus on the negative and retain a good feeling about one's self. "Sur mei'ra" is accomplished better with "aseih tov". 

As you wrote in your previous post, it is very helpful to "get it out". The typical secrecy causes undue pressure and guilt. Sharing in a non triggering way let's one view the whole parsha more objectively and constructively.

My apologies if my previous post upset you. I was just trying to encourage you to stay connected. It is for many guys here, a tool in their arsenal of breaking free.

You gotta check out The Battle of the Generation (https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation). It's just what you're looking for.

thank you very much. shalom.

thank you very much. this is helpful. shalom.

 "Sur mei'ra" is accomplished better with "aseih tov".