Mazal tov! It was purely an honor and inspiration reading your posts and experiencing your ups and downs together with you!

We are Jewish, so I can't let you go without an argument as a farewell gift.

I agree you may not have been unscathed throughout this bein hazmanim, but I disagree that you return to the wonderful bais hamidrash limping. No my good friend, you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams! You thought an outcome inevitable, (as I definitely would've too) and battle after battle you never crossed that red line. Did you get close? Maybe, that's life, but in the end you never allowed your side to concede even a centimeter of you very sacred and hallowed ground. Is that limping? To me that's proud marching! That's galloping! Determination visibly etched upon your brow, eyes straying neither right nor left. 

So let the gates of the Bais Hamidrash open wide, in all its glory! Let it welcome in its returning hero a true loyal servant of God, let it embrace it's cherished warrior with joy and love! Our son is home!

May it be a zman of shtieging m'chayil el chayil.

            With admiration and love,
                                                     Grant

Grant400 wrote on 18 Aug 2020 13:11:

Amen.
Thank you so much. It really means a lot 

Hey guys,
So now that I bh don’t have unfiltered Internet access, so no p prob, I’m moving to working on M.
I was planning to keeping track of my “clean” days starting from the next time I’msince I don’t k ow exactly how many days it’s been, but I was thinking why wait?
So it seems  I’m around 10 days clean from M.
I prob won’t be posting here everyday, but will do when taiva strong etc.

Thanks everyone for the support!
Hatzlocha!

I’m bed, fighting. I’m not gonna do it.
Thank you all

awesome

It amazes me when people have the strength to post while they are fighting an attack of lust. I really struggle to go on this site when I'm in lust mode, as the yetzer tries his best to prevent it. So I know it takes real strength of character. Well done.

P.S. hope you didn't fall.

Hey, I just skimmed thru your forum a bit, and I'm impressed! Keep up the good work!
Ive been struggling for a while with the "P and M" and BH I'm doing fairly well right now(over 3 months clean). Its doable and its a struggle worth fighting. 
Yeshiva is BH a safe haven, and during the zman is generally when I had/have the most success, but BH I finally had a fully clean bein hazmanim and it was great. Not trying to toot my own horn, rather trying be michazak that Ive been there(prob worse than where ur at) and Ive done that so its doable.
Feel free to reach out boftheg1@gmail.com.
Hatzlacha!

Im Tevakshena Kakasef wrote on 23 Aug 2020 21:00:

Thanks, ya I won, bh

Oy don’t wanna give in.. hope I win this one

Don't do it! You can win!

YeshivaGuy wrote on 26 Aug 2020 00:08:

You are craving pleasure. Will you have more pleasure in the long run by giving in or holding back?

Dinners over, sometimes I lie in bed and read during dinner, and my roommate left the room so got taiva...
Prob should work somethin out...
Anyway time for nightseder to chazer shiur!
Bh I wasn’t nichshal, my phone is bh very blocked, though I can still do M but it’s not kdie...
Anyway, Shkoyach!

In a way, I find masturbation to be a bigger nisayon than vids, because “you can’t escape from yourself”

It’s hard cuz like in Yeshiva sometimes I gotta lie down and take a rest during the break, and I just don’t have an eitza on how to do that without taiva coming.
Any advice is welcome
Shkoyach!

YeshivaGuy, you are an amazing inspiration. GYE should take this whole thread and post it in yeshivos! Your well written insight into yourself and these urges, along with the excellent responses from the various guys who took out the time to reply, created a true masterpiece of chizuk. As far as your new agenda, please see my PM to you.