Didn’t go to keitzad merakdim at wedding tonight bh, a pritzus fest…
I said yes to a girl btw, seems I may enter the parsha, will see if says yes.
Bh kept to my conviction to insist on not seeing a picture…

YeshivaGuy wrote on 09 Feb 2023 06:37:

Thank you for treating a bas Yisroel with the dignity and respect she deserves. May Hashem bench you with brocha v'hatzlocha as a reward for doing so. The bayis you will eventually build b'ezras Hashem will have a strong yesod of kedusha and mutual respect.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 09 Feb 2023 21:29:

Amein! Thank you so much and for helping me daily bh.
It means a lot to hear support about this since many people do pictures and can look at me as just being dumb.
I have good chaveirim like me though but not being in Yeshiva full time means I can “get away” with things without social pressure…

More I could weight but for @Marx I’ll just wish you all a Gut Shabbos.

YeshivaGuy 

Fantasizing bout shiksa I broke off with. Didn’t distract myself properly.
Began bad vid, masterbated at beginning before getting explicit.
Fall in masterbating, still clean from porn though.
Wont fall further.
See ya

YeshivaGuy wrote on 12 Feb 2023 18:47:

My friend, simply unreal! I wrote you a dvar Torah here a little while back about that being the ko'ach of Yosef haTzaddik. Keep it up, my holy friend!

After being strung along for a week and the person calling zero of my references, got a no for something they should’ve been able to say on day 1.

But good I grew this week from chapping it’s legit time. Yes I’m pissed. No I won’t do stupid stuff as a result. Yes I will take this more time to further get prepared for someone actually interested in me, what I’m doing, and what I’m gonna do which will be earth shattering.
Not everyone’s up for the ride I suppose.

It’s so funny, if I was meant to marry every girl I was positive I would marry, I would’ve been married to at least 10 girls by now.
God controls the world.

Hopefuly I could control my own world too!

YeshivaGuy wrote on 12 Feb 2023 22:04:

That’s a tough one… I went out with 60+

but the one I ended up with is the perfect one for me. 

took me years to get to the point of doing cheshbon hanefesh and compiling a list of the top 10 character traits I needed then married the first girl I went out with after doing that.

looked for someone I could bear to look at with at least 3 of the traits. 

ended up with someone who at first I looked at as average looking then after un-addicting myself and getting to know her more personally realized I got the best that Hashem could have ever offered me 

hopefully you will grow from your journey and remember that each one you date is one step closer to a better you and one step closer to your chuppa BH

whoever marries a ben-Aliyah like you will be very special and very lucky 

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 15 Feb 2023 00:56:

Thanks!
Glad you’re well bh buddy

YeshivaGuy wrote on 22 May 2022 06:06:

good to know that even the smartphone knows to call it trash

BH touching trash doesn’t make a person trashy

Hashem gives us the ability to “clean up” every day. 

there’s a reason we don’t shower just once a year… it’s a contestant avoda

YeshivaGuy wrote on 08 Feb 2023 00:35:

…..
on the phone now
……..

Officially 16 days clean from porn but idk.
Found shixas number and messages a bit then stopped.
This feels beneath me, I don’t feel sucked into it.
Plugged the whole meaning deleted the crazy workaround.

Having thoughts of doom demise and utter failure that I should throw in the towel.
I masterbated and wasn’t the cleanest with eyes.
Won’t reset the count yet cuz count is for spending more than a few seconds on a vid.

I gotta shape up and not view myself like all is lost.

I’m also eating my little brothers icecream from the freezer right now, really terrible person…

YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Feb 2023 03:25:

Did you remember to bless Hashem שהכל נהיה בדברו?

rabbi Biderman brought out a nice point in this week’s Torah Wellsprings

we have to remember that Hashem’s providence and hand in in three areas without exception
1. What happens to us
2. what is done to us
3. What we do to ourselves

you won. 

Sometimes winning is painful.

Change your perspective, and change your life.

trust the Big Boss. He knows what He’s doing, and He is most definitely the one doing whatever is being done. 

trust Him!

love

ILH

AMAZING STUFF - keep it up!!
YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Feb 2023 03:25:

3 gallons of ice cream?
That’s gonna make an interesting shape 

If you’d be eating your brother, that would (possibly) make you a terrible person.

His ices? I’m sure he’s ok with that - he loves you, as we all do!!!!!!

Starting over

Starting over  Continuing