I just had a fall, quite humbling to see that chart at 0 again.

This journey ain't over fellas.

It's amazing thinking how far I have come and so strange that I only truly grasp this after a fall.

I was at 172, hope to see you again in another 172 days!

I am just laughing how sometimes we ask people here, how long is your streak, sometimes even if the answer is really low they could be coming off a nice long one.

For me B"H it's not about the streak, and this fall has taught me an important lesson. Number one I need to be extra vigilant when I have lots of time on my hands and am not keeping busy and productive (bein hazmanim, basically) but really what I need to work on more is something that I have started to be a little lax on and that is that nothing is going to happen if I "deprive" myself of this pleasure or any pleasure for that matter.
Over Y"T I found myself lax in my diet too as well as some other areas and for me they all go hand in hand, either my mindset is strong about saying no to my desires or it's weak.

I really need to work on my self control in general. The truth is that I have grown a lot in this area over the last half a year but lately have been lax.

Something that scares me a little is that I really have been sleeping for the last week and and change. When I am focused I can do whatever it is that I really want to but sometimes I just stop thinking and put myself on cruise control, my cruise control is to run after pleasure.

I guess whenever I am cruising I can be sure that I will stumble, so I've got no make sure not to give up control, no driverless cars for me.

I have been learning daily mussar and it has helped me tremendously and this is another thing that I have been lax about during bein hazemanim, I don't think it's a coincidence.

This is a wake up call, hey you! Wake up! Look what happens when your sleeping!

Why I can only wake up with a fall beats me but thank G-d at least that I can do.

I need to wake up, take control of my life and run it the way I really want to (or just plain run it and not get run over by my desires).

Ramchal writes in Mesilas Yesharim that when we are focused it's very hard for the Y"H to get us to sin, that's why one of the Y"H's greatest tricks is to make us lose focus, like Pharoh did to the Jews in Mitzrayim. He knew that they were able to revolt so he worked them so hard that they had no time to think about it. So I guess to sum it up, the goal now is to figure out how to stay focused.

For a fleeting moment I feel like falling again, but as I am writing this I am strengthening myself that I will not die, it will be okay, I am in this world for less selfish things then this.

Really random but I was just thinking, is there anything more selfish then this? Can anyone think of anything else? 

I know I have to restart my mussar seder but does anyone have any other ideas how to stay focused?

Perhaps post more on my own thread?

All the best.

We are a week in and that's great. 

We are a week in and that's great. B"H I have been really good lately with not seeking and not stimulating so that's a good sign.

Today, I daven that Hashem should help me be lust free, understand that I don't need it and that I don't want it. Please help me keep my mind where it belongs and my hands where they belong, and help me bring myself closer to you every single day, by overcoming my desires.

(even if I fall occasionally I am still free).

Hello Friend.

To answer your question straight up, yes you will have to battle this for the rest of your life. HOWEVER, it will get relatively easier as time goes on and you get stronger. Chazal make it very clear that we are never fully out of danger of falling and demonstrate that even the tzadikim almost fell (Kiddushin 81-82)

Yes, there are times that are more difficult than others but I am not living anymore in a life that is completely consumed by this.