MenachemGYE wrote on 25 Aug 2022 13:25:

This is an interesting subject. This has strong basis in the host religion of most Western cultures and countries (which developed and commercialized the pornography industry), where sex is viewed as a sin, and their religious leaders practice celibacy.

In addition, fear of sexuality and ponography/masturbation is a major trigger. In many people's minds they have shoved these items into a "basement closet" and locked it with numerous locks to the extent that they will not say or write these words. The problem is that they ooze out of the closet from all sides. The panic/anxiety caused by this makes these items into larger than life monsters, that one believes cannot be vanquished.  Better would be to take them out of the closet and examine them clinically, discect them, and dispose of them in a calm manner.

Time flies! apparently its been 8 months since i was here last.. bh im still clean, its crazy how its been close to 4 years without going online to watch porn, although i wish i still can 

What an inspiration!

I'm 19, I'm new to this program and was wondering if its a good idea to first stop watch porn and only later deal with masturbating, one battle at a time. Also, are there any 'gashmiyosdike' side effects to masturbating, eg effect on marriage etc 

qwertyasdfgh wrote on 05 Apr 2023 00:47:

Welcome to the club. 

What about stopping one battle at a time, and deal first with masturbation?

How do you suppose dealing first with masturbation, when viewing porn is what triggers masturbation?

I've always been under the impression that it's a packaged fight to do both at once.
If this is a mistake, please enlighten me on the best approach!

Porn without masturbating would deffinately be impossible for me, but maybe masturbating without watching porn would work

qwertyasdfgh wrote on 05 Apr 2023 07:26:

What would be if watching Porn was not connected in any way to masturbating?

Would it be difficult for you to stop watching porn? For me the answer would be no, perhaps for you too. 

In that case, the true and (virtually) only challenge here is masturbation. 

Trying endlessly to stop from Porn may simply be give a warm feeling like we are winning a battle, when in fact that’s not the real battle at all. 

Yes, if you wish to take it on for 2 weeks and it helps, then great, but if not, cut to the chase and let’s try focus on the real battle front together!

ON THE OTHER HAND; If you’re ready to take on both Porn AND masturbation, then without a question tackling Porn may the focus of the battle because the 2 are interconnected, and this has helped me as it has for many here.
But to say I’m gonna keep masturbating while diminishing porn… that’s not been something that would work for me…

I don't disagree, I just want to add.

The first step is to start doing something, let it be for the moment only porn, but have in mind that in order to really win this battle, you will have to give up much more than just P&M.
You alone will learn what triggers you, and you need to avoid, in order not to fall back.

Good start and share how you feel porn free.

its crazy how so many of our friends are struggling with this and everybody is embarressed of the second....... HELLO im lu g checking in after almost a year of going Bshriras Libi hope to get back on track bezras hashem!

lu g wrote on 16 Apr 2023 03:50:

Hey lu g, welcome back!! 
we are here for you whenever needed, make your own thread and feel free to update us and we can help you in any which way we can! 

yes logging in is a very big tool to help surpass this struggle for many, but together with the oilam and growth of ideas that one may work or so- you can get to reaching great heights bzh!! 

hatzlachah rabah!!

im gonna be sticking around for the next few days, hey bochurim, feel free to pm me if i can help you in any way. 

I think there are "normal" stresses and desires (didn't get into yeshiva, wife gets mad ETC) that ppl need to cope with in different ways vs doing p&m because a person was sexually abused c"v 

PPL in general public or yeshiva PPL having this problem more then others?

I'm a Bochur, 20 years old, struggling with p&m and lust. Just joined a few weeks ago.