Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 17 Mar 2019 05:18:

This reminds me of the story of the chasid that was embarrassed to ask a certain question from his rebbe so he asked the question in the name of his friend who is too embarrassed to ask himself. The rebbe caught on and asked the chasid why couldn't your friend ask the question himself and say his friend sent him...
My two cents, the parents will probably not buy into the friend story and will not appreciate your dishonesty which will make them suspicious. I say keep yourself out of the equation and let the therapist deal with it.

I once heard a Shiur on Shulem Beis and the Rabbi started that he believes that everybody here today has come for there children, wife or extended family. Everyone was laughing.
Who are we fooling?

I see that you want so strong to tell them that you have friend that is struggling, so whats the big deal? Why don't you trust your therapist??

Mggsbms I believe that story happened with the rebbe maharash of lubavitch but lol very well said that they'll get suspicious.

And doing teshuvah my therapist isn't a sex therapist and doesn't specialize in this field, so in dealing with emotions he's awesome! In dealing with pornography addicts he ain't that experienced..
in our case, he can help the kid get rid of depression, build self esteem etc but to stop from viewing inappropriate stuff, there might be people who are better off...

Us "addicts" like to fix the world. If we can't fix it, we like to orchestrate the help provided.

Many who join gye know this feelin' well. As soon as they author their very first post, or immediately after reachin' 17 days clean, they are the "chat-sobriety-guru." It makes us feel better about our problems/issues.

Read step 12 in the white book please. Others should as well.

Godspeed to all (especially to me).

It is very noble to want to help others to the extent that you are considering sharing your own personal struggles. There is a big difference between having told them that you went to a therapist to learn how to deal with emotional issues - which has become much more acceptable (and even respected) in society than in the past, and sharing your "kedusha challenges" which are still misunderstood by many - and viewed as evil instead of as an illness/ingrained habit. As others have stated, there is a risk that it will be misunderstood, especially by parents who at the moment are hysterical.  When do we share that info? When we see someone reaching out for help with sincerity. If at some point you detect that this talmid is really looking to be helped (not forced by parents etc), at that point you should make a judgement call of whether to spill the beans or not. Each case is different, so choose wisely.  Be proud that you want to help. You are b'ezras Hashem saving this boy years of unnecessary suffering. Hatzlocha.

Exceptionally well written! What will we do without hhm?

Ok, told the parents info of my therapist and told them some info what I know in general about pornography.. turns out this kid was exposed at age 8!! By some cruel and mean "friend", i told them about this site...


Yikes!! They might see my forum...

Now I'm butting out and focusing on "shnitzel" and as my Rav said "if you can't help him, at least help yourself"
Day 16!

Your doing great.
Actually we help ourselves by helping others.

True 

but

Actually we truly help others by helping ourselves

Markz wrote on 19 Mar 2019 00:04:

You mean we help (save) the people around us? Wife kids and etc'?
Oh are you right!

What exactly is recovery for an addict? If this is a life long fight, what does recovery mean exactly?

Million dollar question...

Can someone please fill me in... Shnitz is such a עם הארץ...

You made the right move. Lets say you revealed to parents that you have/had kedusha issues, they may suspect that you will be the next person to expose their son to pornography. 
in addition, you are a proffesional rebbe. As a general rule, therapist, and other proffessionals, do not share their personal struggles with clients. For a good reason- it's because the therapy is about the client, not the therapist. A therapist may get divorced, have tremendous personal trauma, and the client will never know.
(Just stuff what I've read).
I dont think the family has much to gain by hearing that you have, or had lust issues.
does the mom realy need to hear or imagine that you may be lusting over her? 
that may totally kill any possibility of you helping this bochur.
hatzlacha 

That was probably the main factor why I didn't say! Spot on!

Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 20 Mar 2019 03:45:

Is this a theoretical question, or have you or someone else dec8ded that you are a addict. ( Or maybe your asking for a friend who is an addict:)

On your thread till this point you have described yourself as a non addict.

Just clarifying as in general it's more important to answer the one asking the question then to answer the question itself