Hay Shnitz, (shoot! Am I fleshigs now?)

My 2 cents?

Meeting, Shmeetings, real people shmeople, every persons got their unique journey with different ingredients at different times.
To me, the most important thing for recover in almost Any person is, (quote) " to thy own self be true", or in normal English be completely and constantly honest to yourself.

Without personal honesty we can host a sa meeting in our bedroom and be drunk as ever, and with personal honesty we will we will we will eventually get sober, because we won't stop trying new things until we do so.

stillgoing wrote on 15 Mar 2019 14:14:

You are 100% right. The problem is that in this business (and in many others as well), it is difficult to be completely honest with oneself. We have lots goin' on in our brain that gives us different signals. That is the advantage of usin' another, whether it be a therapist, mentor, close friend, sponsor, wife (at times), someone else's wife, etc. They help us see the truth, as much as we think we got it all figured out.

Each step of my journey, I thought I understood it all, until every time I opened up in a different way, and whadya know? I was wrong!

Godspeed

Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 15 Mar 2019 05:10:

Firstly, I don't think anyone mentioned you should join sa or go to meetings; just that self-changing steps should be taken. People mistakenly thing that posting on forum is included in that. While it is beneficial and may be very productive for some, it may not alter one's inner being.

Secondly, although those numbers are very commendable and you, your friends, family and God are certainly very proud, that may not be an indicator of any lust decreasing powers within us. Case in point, I have been technically sober for years, but I am in a week-long funk of lusting 24/7. As long as I know that lust is significantly impacting my life in a detrimental way, I cannot rest on my laurels; it is not a cause for celebration, although I haven't stroked or touched.

Now, all this may not be relevant for you at all. And if that's the case, that's fine as well, for after all, I am only Trouble.

Trouble I realize that numbers don't mean that lust went away, however my current definition of recovery is simply not acting out, and as long as that's under control then we're fine.

I know my lust will never go away... 

Here's the crazy story!

For the past two years I've tutored a young Shliach from a remote city via Skype once a week. We've developed a good relationship and I'm tight with the parents too. Yesterday they told me how the kid is depressed, being disrespectful, questioning life's purpose, after asking them different questions, they revealed to me the shocking news how the kid has issues with inappropriate internet usage.. I was and am still blown away and speechless...

And they told me how they reached out to a frum therapist remotely but they haven't seen results.. so I decided that's it, I have to save this kids life! And I told them, "I'm telling you a secret that no one in the world besides my Rav knows, that I too went to therapy since I had emotional issues and saw instant results"! "And so I have experience in dealing with emotional issues"! They were so touched how much I care for their son to reveal such private things about my life!
I didn't say I too have issues with inappropriate usage... But I'm having a conference call next week with the parents and getting my therapist involved to save this young, innocent and precious neshomo which was exposed to pornography at the tender age of 13!! Yikes! No wonder he's self esteem is low and no wonder he's depressed etc..

That's what's I'm asking here on gye, should I tell the parents that I had this issue at age 13 too and how i kind of got my acting out under control somewhat? Or just tell them I have a friend who has these issues and so I know alot in this field?

If I do reveal my true story, I have a better chance of helping the kid, on the other hand saying the truth might cause them to get turned off from having to do with me.. if I don't say, my helping them will be limited..

I'm running on very little sleep so hope my question makes sense... 

What do the chevrah here say?

I'm also confused... Used to think I'm not an addict however I think now I am an addict. 

Makes sense I shouldn't be telling the parents if I'm still struggling.. and I feel stupid for telling the parents that I went to therapy.. however hashgocho protis they know..

Does it make sense to tell the parents that I have a close friend who has struggles and so I know Abit about these things, without saying it's me

I'm also confused... Used to think I'm not an addict however I think now I am an addict. 

Makes sense I shouldn't be telling the parents if I'm still struggling.. and I feel stupid for telling the parents that I went to therapy.. however hashgocho protis they know..

Does it make sense to tell the parents that I have a close friend who has struggles and so I know Abit about these things, without saying it's me