Thank you for your response and for all the time you invested in it. It's clear that you are caring and are able to articulate your thoughts well. Your reply includes a description of many bracha's. This includes your desire to connect with the chevra on this platform and actually following through with it. Your utilizing this resource to it's fullest. This resource together with the other things you mentioned has helped you in numerous parts of your life as you mentioned. You also are macir tov and expressed your haca'ras Hatov. Your response is inspirational to me because there are some things you say that I could relate to and I could see a future for myself. However, I just want to ask you about the amount of time you invest in this and about if your current lifestyle requires a level of privacy regarding this. I'm only asking a question. My question is: Is the amount of time you invest in this similar to the amount of time you invested in "lust", and  similarly, does your lifestyle require you to be as private about this as the privacy (or secrecy) of lust?

I'm asking because I want to be motivated to try some of the things you suggest but I envision this taking up so much time that I would be unable to be employed. Additionally, it would be difficult to keep this private with the availability of smartpones and kids. It seems like you have become much healthier from all that your doing. But how do you find the time to do this and maintain other necessary self-care habits? 
In short:
1. Does this take the amount of time I envision this taking?

2. If yes, do you know how you are able to invest so much time into this?

3. If yes (to #2), do you mind sharing this with me? 
May Hashem continue to bentch you in all the good that you are doing- with continued Refuah in all areas. 

It takes up a significant portion of my day. I am unemployed and I live with my parents and they don't have access to my computer. I would suggest that you at least incorporate Connection, Urge Surfing and SOBER. Once you are good at Urge Surfing and SOBER you can do them without the recording whenever you have free time and you aren't driving. SOBER can be effective even if done for only 3 minutes, as long as you are completely focused and free from distractions. You can also do it in bed before falling asleep. I also highly suggest that you journal the way I posted on December 31st when you have severe anxiety. You would anyway be forced to pause and tend to your health and this type of journaling was my most effective and quickest method for avoiding a panic attack. You can overwrite it and delete it if it is on the computer or shred it if it is on paper a short time after journaling and it will still have the same effect. If you have additional time you can incorporate exercise. Even half an hour once a week or 10 minutes 5 times a week can help a lot. Someone who is employed and has a family probably won't have the time to journal regularly and they may not have privacy. There are many people posting on the forum but I don't know how they find the time for it.

Thank you for the blessing. V'chein l'mar.

Amein. Thank you. Connection, urge surfing and SOBER. I hope to look into these 3. Currently I don't know what they are. Interestingly, last June I wrote a few posts on this platform. Starting around June 14th Hashem blessed me with at least 60 days of kedusha. It felt like it could have gone on forever. The most pleasant part about these 60+ days I remember being this wholesome feeling. These 60+ days were unique in that the urge to act out was also taken away, I felt additional Yiras Shamayim and I experienced good mental health. I remember listening to Rabbi Yarons 3 "movies" frequently during these 60+days while I did long distance driving. The movies were tikun habrit, gehenim, and Hashem took back his millions. I try to retrace my steps so that I could experience this again but it doesn't seem to work. Perhaps someone was davening for me back then. Perhaps it was someone on this platform. I don't really know. Although the approach used seemed to be very time consuming, it fit into my lifestyle perfectly. I would listen to the 90 minute audio of his 3 movies frequently while I drove. Currently I'm unemployed so I suppose I have the time to try a different approach. So the connection, urge surfing and SOBER is something I will look into bli neder. Thank you again for responding. 

Connection means reaching out to someone on GYE or elsewhere or to join a group of people, and talk or socialize, and Urge Surfing and SOBER are mindfulness exercises that you can redeem by pressing on the gold coins on the top right-hand side of your screen in GYE.

How do I get gold coins?

Shmuu wrote on 27 Mar 2024 04:02:

By updating the daily progress chart on the dashboard and by doing the Flight to Freedom program. If you do both of them consistently you will get enough coins to purchase the Urge Surfing and SOBER recordings pretty fast. It seems that you haven't done the Flight to Freedom program. I suggest that you do it. I couldn't have broken free without it. It is also worth regularly reading The Battle of the Generation which will give you the strength to win. Here is the link to the ebook: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

I didn't write this in my previous post but I regularly read the book, and I was reading my list of cues and appropriate responses twice a week and updating it once a week when I had s***** struggles.

It usually requires a comprehensive strategy that is acquired over time in order to break free and it isn't usually a quick fix. Give it everything you have and you will eventually succeed. Keep on posting and sharing and keep on trucking.

Thank you. Updating the daily progress chart daily sounds easy enough. I tried starting the flight to freedom program this morning. I see that it requires watching a video. I'm not in a position to watch a video right now. Hopefully later. But knowing how these things go it's always best to do things right away and not postpone it to later. Am I correct that it requires watching a video? Or is there another way to do it. 

I was thinking...regarding privacy: So I'll try to keep things private. But if it should become revealed, it's probably better for me to get "caught" doing tshuva (on this platform), then to be caught in the garbage. As a bachur, getting caught doing tshuva has another advantage. The humiliation probably could serve as part of the capara and might even increase siyata dishmaya. But I'm not sure if Daas Torah would agree. Perhaps my logic would apply by a married person too. However, in both cases as heroic it may be to get this capara, in both cases it also causes that to others as well, so that's what my safeik is. Practically it makes a nafka mina because if the expectation is that I must keep it 100% private than perhaps I should explore a different avenue for tshuva. I'm just reflecting some of my thoughts. If you happen to have some clarity on this that would be great.

The Flight to Freedom program is all videos. You don't have to finish them all at once. It is much better to do them slowly and internalize every word. The goal is internal change. Also, don't skip any of the exercises as they are all necessary in order to heal.

From other people's posts it seems that for some people it was beneficial that their wives knew about their struggles while for others it was a bad idea. Psychologists also differ over whether it is better to tell your wife or not. I think it is harmful for your children to find out.

There are many guys on GYE who have shared that connecting with real people here, as well as focusing on getting clean in healthy proven ways, have had significant positive effects - specifically in reduction of psychiatric/psychological issues. Obviously, one should remain under the guidance of a doctor and not experiment with changing doses of medication, but the general increase in feelings of positive self-worth can be most beneficial. As yitzchokm wrote, fellows join GYE for sexual challenges, but find that their whole life changes. Menuchas HaNefesh, confidence, etc. Hatzlocha!

Amein. Thank you for replying. I'm still relatively new at reading these messages but I believe you are replying to something I wrote. Thank you for taking time to reply. Hatzlacha to you too.