Hello everyone, 

Im new to this website. I have dipped in before but have fallen a few times since. 

I have struggled with this issue for many years but if feel it has been taken to a new level since sperating from my abusive wife in the summer of last year. Last Yom Kippur I made a commitment to not masturbate again and on the most part have held true to this commitment. My yetzer horo tho cleverly used this and I began saying to myself it’s better if someone else does it for me, this has resulted in me meeting various people for sexual relief and I am so ashamed of this. 
I have decide to sign up to the 90 day challenge and have put various things in place so I don’t fall again. But I find myself wondering if this is worth it. When I have won the battle over this problem I want to get married again and build a true Yiddisha home but I don’t think anyone will accept me because I’m divorced and what I have done.

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Nobody has to know about what you have done except you - and you will iyh fix it up. What worked for me was making a real connection with some of the chevra here which keeps me accountable and focused. Reach out by continuing to post and when you are ready for it, call someone. You can always block caller id. if you read through the forums you will find quite a few divorced fellows who BH are doing well. May Hashem grant your wish to build a beautiful yiddishe home.