Hi I am Cantorg 
Yes I am a Cantor...
For many years I prayed And creied to God in the fryday night Tefila Raza Deshabbos that he should wankish the klipa and the sitra achra and allow us to shomer the brit the propper way wich is so hard today

since i was a bochur i fought with myself and the outside to try and shomer the brit
till going to my Rebbe he told me that is better to let aut than chos vechallila do worse averot with ashes ish or even pnuiot

the yetzer was so strong at that stage that for fear of being over with ashes ish i gave in 

till yesterday that I felt now at the age of 55 divorced for the 3rd time the time has come to take up seriously the chalange and concor it

i am worried how Iwill feel after acting out moust of my life and now to stop!

May God Help me!!

Any tips and suggestions?
like when is the worst time?
what should I do than?
will medications help me or make it worse?
is there any free or nearly free therapist that will get me over the hump?
if not what will it cost me for somebody good and professional?

Welcome cantorg. You came to the right place.
Have you checked out the handbook? There are lots of suggestions and ideas in there.

Hatzlacha, stay connected and the fine folks here will help you on your journey.

Hello Cantorg. I do not know who your Rebbe is, or what he meant by "is better to let aut" so I won't comment on it (further).


What happened yesterday?  It is certainly a wonderful and important step you want to take, to tackle this issue.  Being 55 and divorced for the 3rd time must be extremely difficult.  Why is now suddenly the time to challenge this?


Hello Cantorg.
Like lifebound wrote above, the Guard Your Eyes handbook is a good place to start. 
This kind of reminds me of a friend who was looking for a good mechanic to fix his car.

Hatzlacha, and welcome.

let out is acting out motsi zera and i stand behind that!! but time hasd come to bring myself to the next step!!
now that eishes ish is not any more next to my door
i dont want moshiach ben dovid to come and I have not repaired the sin of yosef hatsadik!!

thank you for the interest!!
kosheren pesach!!

do you have a tel number i could call
is there a perticular time you can answear
wich time zone are you
i am in jerusalem!!

cantorg wrote on 14 Mar 2018 21:56:

Trying to bring yourself to the next step is a great thing.    Do you know that your job is repairing the sin of yosef hatsadik?*   That is assuming that we control the results. All we really control is our efforts. Perhaps our job is just putting in the effort towards repairing our own selves. The final result is only up to G-d.


* (as a side, i don't know what sin that would be- since he overcame his yetezer)

OF COURSE OUR JOB IS ONLY TO DO THE EFFORT
BUT WITHOUT THE EFFORT FOR SHURE GOD WILL NOT HELP YOU TO SUCCED!

what better step in my life is there than deciding not to act aut now that i have managed to put some distance with me and the big avera!

Yosef hatsadik spilled 10 drops with the issiu of the wife of potifera
if he would not have he would have had 12 tribes like his father
it coused a disaster in this world and higher worlds 
the 10 harugei malchus where becouse of this sin!
etc....

cantorg wrote on 14 Mar 2018 22:19:

Great! I must have misunderstood your earlier posts.  
There is no better time then now.  
So, did you find the handbook? I think that you can get to it from the GYE home page.

Thank you!
yes I already printed it
I am wating for Shabbos to read it
it is tha Day I reserve to dwelve deep in important books

may God bless you!!

Sorry if it's personal, but were the divorces related to the acting out?
So sorry, it must really hurt to have dealt with this until 55. I can't even fathom. BH for this site.

Not all of them
a little the last one
it effected the respect in the marriage
mainly my x s wanted to control that is what broke the back of the camel!

Welcome cantorg. The first thing you need to know is that you can get better, things are not hopeless. A person does not NEED to act out. I am sure in Yerushalayim there must be a therapist referral agency who can help you find an appropriate therapist if that is the direction you want to take. Hatzlocha with your journey. Stay connected and keep posting and at the same time get to know the chevra here through forums, chat, email - the connection helps alot.

thank you
I appreciate your warm words!!

cantorg wrote on 14 Mar 2018 23:21:

hi, did you get to read the  gye handbook over Shabbos?

Yes partly
i don’t know if it’s me or what
but bisides the few good bits of advice I personally found I had to stop reading it for it forced me closer to the Adiction 
thank Goodness I had a Tehilim handy that brought me back to perspective!
a gutter voch!!

Welcome! Start with the handbook.  Keep posting.  What have you learned from 3 marriages?  Did you go for counseling?  Did it help?