whats that "m" for?

where's the "all of the above" option?

I do not understand what you mean?

Trigger happy at the computer is the worst.before I knew it I was on a porn site.

where's the "all of the above" option?

Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:

oish; I'm in the minority.

truth is, in true recovery, the answer becomes: none of the above.
[edit: I wrote the above line now w/o seein' the post above this one.]

May God help us all with that.

chizukconstant wrote on 02 Mar 2017 14:55:

I've had the exact same thoughts many times. I want to be sober but I also want to enjoy porn.

I spent years trying to control and enjoy lust without losing my sobriety. I felt that the problem was masturbation to completion. That was what was clearly written about in halocho. Anything less than that was not smart because because it led to masturbation, but if I could do it and get away with it, that was great.

So I would use lust to enjoy myself but try to force myself to not masturbate to completion. Anything less than that was OK in my eyes. Not smart, but not a fall, who was I hurting? Of course I always fell in the end, and always wondered why.

I have to realise that for me it's not the porn that's the problem, or the masturbation. It's the lust. The fantasy. Objectifying women I see. Imagining them naked. Wanting them. When I start that it makes me feel so uncomfortable because the more I do it the more I need a release. So of course I'll end up back watching porn eventually. Of course I'll end up touching myself 'a little too long', then thumping the table in anger "how could it have happened again!"

I've found that stress was a trigger to act out. Then I found that the feeling of stress being resolved was a trigger. Sadness was a trigger, so was happiness. Getting money, losing money. Having a late night, having a early night, etc etc.

The problem is not in the externals. It's not in my circumstances. It's in me.

Sure, learning how to cope with stress is useful. But some stress is unavoidable and will always be a potential trigger. As will smooth sailing, anger, resentments, fear, hunger. Anything. There's no point for me running away from triggers. Every aspect of life can be a trigger.

So the real question is as you so wonderfully put it. Why should I stop watching porn if I enjoy it?

Do you though? Is it still fun?

For me, watching porn is being in a very dark place. As soon as I turn it on I feel the darkness close in. I can't see anything on the other side of the darkness. I feel panic, fear, hopelessness. I need to watch the porn to numb myself from the horrible feelings caused by watching porn. It's not fun anymore, it's horrible.

Amazingly, when I give it up, not just the porn but all the lust - the fantasies, the looking at the women around me, the thinking about what it would be like, I feel fine. It's fine. There's no desperation to find porn, I'm not even fighting myself or using self-control, I just feel fine and serene. And I don't have to count days anymore, it's become irrelevant. I'm not holding on until the next relapse. All that's important is to be lust-free today.

G-d makes that possible. When I ask Him to remove my lust He's willing and able to do so. All I need to do is be willing to let Him take it away completely, no strings attached. Asking Him to take the porn while I hold onto the lust doesn't work. Half measures avail nothing. But when I allow Him to take all the lust, life becomes so much more wonderful and peaceful.

Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks