I love you, guys! Great discussions!!

Amazing, how loving Hashem, got you to love us.

Shlomo, I guess we are all newcomers to some extent. I still don't think we are disagreeing. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. 

Shlomo, It must be really nice to be in a place where there are a lot of meetings and fellowship. I spent some time in Texas and tried to make a meeting every day. They have a great fellowship out there. Some days had three meetings. Where I am we have one meeting a week and a large turnout is 10 people. We had 4-6 people at most for the first few years. I think there is about 14 people total in the fellowship here. I'm jealous of people in areas that have a lot of fellowship. I guess a lot if you guys would be in trouble in our neck of the woods here. Maybe I'm in trouble! Glad to be going to San Antonio soon for international!

Yeah, even though my fellowship doesn't have a meeting every day, it does have them often. I will also be in San Antonio

Some things in life that are simple to other people are baffling to me. The 9th step promises me that I will begin to intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle me. I do see that promise coming true in recovery. Part if that for me is to reach out to others for guidance. In the past I may not have reached out to others for guidance. I was having trouble understanding the assignment for the course I'm taking. It doesn't necessarily occur to me to just ask the professor for help and even if it does I won't know the right way to go about it and at least 6 fears will jump into my head about it. This was probably a simple and obvious situation for most people, but for me it isn't.  Now in recovery the thoughts and actions come more readily. Growing one day at a time.

Next share about self centeredness, the animal soul and how important and center staged lust becomes in the life of an addict. (just a reminder for me)

When I'm in active addiction I become very self-centered. I'm not fully there for my family and not full engaged with them.  My mind becomes preoccupied with my next fix. This places in a mood where I am irritated at my family and not present for them. It's a weird kind of self centeredness because the activities that are on my mind aren't even healthy for me. It's also a vicious cycle where I'm looking for my fix to relieve my stress and irritability but the fix itself causes me irritability and anxiety.  

This is the nature of the animal soul. It's focussed on fulfillment of its wants, need and desires. In the perfect and intended state these desires and drives of the animal soul are necessary for human preservation and continuity. The difficulty arises when these drives are used to fulfill unintended purposes. 

The self-centered nature of the animal soul often makes it difficult for a person to act in a healthy manner. The instincts and drive are so strong that once they are perverted they can be set on a powerful course and we alone may not have the power to correct that force. We are essentially trying  to fight nature. We need to find a power greater than ourselves and that power is as simple as reaching out to a fellow struggler. The animal soul being selfish and self centered thinks and works for itself. The Godly soul on the other hand is selfless and can work for others. So when I work with another person the unselfish spirit within us can work together and reset the motives of the animal soul toward their intended purpose. 

(Ideas taken from Tanya, 12 Steps of recovery and many people that I've learned from.)

Great piece.
An interesting point to add is that porn is in my opinion of the most animalistic things that exist in human society. A total disregard of the difference between man and animal.

If someone sees porn acidentally at a time when they’re not desiring it and focused on recovery, or after they are finished, all of a sudden it seems crude, right?

Why doesn’t this bother someone when they’re going to get their fix?
You answered the question. They themselves are feeding their animal soul. So why would it bother them that they’re watching something animalistic.

HakolMilimala wrote on 04 Feb 2018 04:46:

this always fascinated me...its like a universal thing that everyone feels apparently, you'd think society would realize that porn = bad, it aint rocket surgery. But the opposite is happening, porn is becoming more and more accepted and considered normal as society degrades and the animalistic soul takes over.

lifebound wrote on 04 Feb 2018 05:16:

For a long time now, the secular society views the expression of one's desires as simply healthy. If your angry go somewhere and break some dishes if you want to. If your overcome with lust go and satisfy that, with any willing partner or with yourself. By secular standards it is only a problem if: it hurts another person, becomes an addiction, or has obvious negative physical results(like gain a lot of weight due to overeating) 
This should not surprise you as secularists do not accept the lofty level of a human being due to a G-dly soul. Mankind is an animal who by mere coincidence developed from simple cells to an ape eventually  a person.

yiraishamaim wrote on 04 Feb 2018 11:41:


Oh for sure, I didn't mean that I was surprised. There's no question society is in a downward spiral, just compare a TV show from a few decades back to a modern show (or rather, don't!). I was just observing like serenity and HakolMilimala wrote above, how clear it is that this struggle is not a logical one but an animalistic one. If it was logical none of us would be here. Not a chiddush, I know. 

lifebound wrote on 04 Feb 2018 17:57:

Lots of layers prevent us from seein' the obvious.

serenity wrote on 27 Nov 2018 20:14:

WELCOME BACK!!! When I first started her in 2015, Cordroy (yes, he's still here although he denies it) didn't ask me that question (although he did ask eventually), but I still clearly remember how you taught me how to post a link (I forgot so it's good that you're here).

Here's one of my early favorite posts.
serenity wrote on 15 Dec 2014 09:55:

stillgoing wrote on 28 Nov 2018 20:53:

Cordroy ain't here!

cordnoy wrote on 29 Nov 2018 07:19:

The big question is, WHY NOT??!
Perhaps you feel like you have nothing to gain from being on the forums, however others gained tremendously from you over the years.
I beg you pardon, if the reason is family and time constraints. Please don't forsake us.
Thanks!