The last few days, my Eshes Chayil had a nasty backache that really affected how she felt in all ways. Then,, my boss was in a really rough mood. In the past, I would have been very tempted to go down the rabbit hole of porn and masturbation. This time, I didn't. Somehow, I survived-even as the weather heated up, and Manhattan looked like a beach today.

Our office sometimes has the NYT Magazine in the office. Today, I glanced at a page that borded on the inappropriate, and then closed it. On the way home, I looked very carefully for a seat on the subway that was not in sight of an inappropriately dressed woman. Every day is a battle, but I still am Tahor!

The last few days, my Eshes Chayil had a nasty backache that really affected how she felt in all ways. Then,, my boss was in a really rough mood. In the past, I would have been very tempted to go down the rabbit hole of porn and masturbation. This time, I didn't. Somehow, I survived-even as the weather heated up, and Manhattan looked like a beach today.[/quote]

The following is an eitzah that works really well for me. Those of us in Manhattan walk past newsstands where there are pictorial displays of the covers of fashion magazines. I have developed a glazed subway passenger like indifferent look to such covers that works very well-even on the hottest days of the summer.

I completely agree-selfishness and being self-centered and selfish is a real trigger. Once you realize that and become appreciative for all that you have going in your life, you can really deal with the issue, as opposed to justb staving off the Taavah for porn and masturbation.

Anyone who works in NYC can recognize that summer attire for women who work in midtown or who are students is the explanation of the meaning of "less is more." So far, no triggers to porn or masturbation, but keeping my eyes in that subway commuter glazed look is working wonders.Today, I had to waklk a few more blocks for Mincha,and I glanced across the street for a second at what had been a dilapidated porn parlor, and what is now an upscale porn parlor-the difference between today and the past-I walked right back to the office without even crossing the street. If I occasionally turn my head, I turn it right back in front of me. It is the only solution that works for me.

That's gevaldig! Just wanted to add that for me, if I occasionally turn my head, I quickly shut my eyes and then turn my head back. Otherwise, my eyeballs may remain focused even while turning away. And those nanoseconds can make a big difference.

Hatzlacha

MT

The eye-closing technique is my choice too. I find it's more dramatic, and serves both as a way of avoiding the visual temptation, and as a reminder to not let my brain go racing off in bad directions.

So far, my lunchtime routine consists of lunch and Mincha. Where I eat ( either of two kosher places in midtown) I am able to eat with a glazed subway look and basically ignore many of the women who walk in wearing attire that depicts "less is more" as the temperature and humidity go up . If I occasionally turn my head, I turn it right back. Learning on the subway with my eyes looking into a pocket sized Gemara while listening to a shiur does wonders. I know of no other solution, but combined with all of the protective measures that I adhere to home, I am Tahor for more than 300 days for the first time in my life and feel great about it.

WOW thats GEVALDIG!!!!

KOMT!!!and KEEP US POSTED!! (pun intended)

It is now almost a month since my last post, and I am amazed at the fact that I am still Tahor as NYC gets hotter every day and women's attire resembles a beach-especially from Thursday afternoon through Erev Shabbos. I have been working on my subway glaze and it helps when I go for lunch and Mincha and when I walk in and out of the subway. Without the chevra here, my therapist and my Eshes Chayil, I wouldn't be more than 300 days Tahor-the longest ever in my life.

For those of us in NYC, it is getting hotter as the summer progresses, even before the official onset of summer. That means women's attire means "less is more", and the triggers are in your face, as opposed to your mind, or screen. The only think that is working for me as I have remained almost 320 days pure is the subway glare and keeping my eyes on the Gemara in the subway and turning my head away as soon as I have glanced in the wrong direction

Thank you for teaching us that "YES WE CAN!"

Hatzlacha

MT

Hi does your wife know about your acting out?