Ok, innocently went to the bathroom, saw a picture of a immodest girl on a social site. Hand went straight downstairs. Stroked, pulled away, dangling in front of a hard shmekel for what seemed like eternity. Then pulled up the zipper and ran out. I won the battle, but the war is far from over. Almost cried with the effort of resistance. All that pain because I allowed myself 30 seconds of letting my mind and eyes wander. For us lust truly is dangerous. One bit of lust leads straight down to sheol tachtis! Almost ruined my 10day clean streak. Bh still clean and now getting over the lust attack.

I think over time the behaviour of looking at women and of touching ourselves becomes so ingrained it becomes a habit in which we do these things automatically without any thought at all. The first important thing is to break this autopilot mode by consciously thinking about what we're doing and stopping as soon as we notice it. It's very hard at first but it gets easier. The more times you stop yourself the more you're breaking the autopilot and each time it becomes a little easier.

That being said, perhaps taking an internet-connected device into the bathroom with you is not the smartest thing in the world. Maybe find a book to read instead. Just a suggestion.

returning to Hashem wrote:

For me as long as my attitude was, how long I would manage to stay clean for, resisting the temptation, and surviving lust attacks, the result was inevitable. As Dov once told me: everyone can go without food or sleep for a while, but eventually your body needs it.

Recovery for me began when I accepted the fact that I am addicted to lust, that I crave lust, that lusting is sometimes enjoyable but most of the time hell, and ALL OF THAT IS OK. That is me.

But I learnt that I do not have to act on those urges, that it is ok to have live a life with frustrations, resentments, fears etc without turning to my drug, because even though I was convinced to death that I could not survive a "lust attack" and remain sane, I discovered that HaShem could restore my sanity, so long as I do not take matters into my own hands - excuse the pun!

May HaShem grant us sobriety and sanity just for today.

I remember all the mental energy the (losing) battle consumed -- dabbling in lust, then fighting the taivos.

It's much easier to focus my efforts on keeping far from provocative images.

Do you really need to be on that social site?

I guess what your trying to say is that as long as your fighting the lust there is a chance you can lose. The fight should be not allowing yourself to have lust. I guess that's the sechel behind velo sasooro.... If you gye then you won't have lust. A lot easier and less painful and dangerous then having lust and fighting it.

Makes sense to me.

The other area, which was a big problem for me, was the incessant fantasies and images which swirled around my brain, tormenting me to give in, to play one out in my mind (and eventually with intensification from my hand).

Just like it's easier to avoid seeing lustful sights than it is to fight the lust they trigger, it's also possible to detect when lustful thoughts are first approaching to take a seat in my mind. I have learned to surrender these thoughts and images to Hashem, verbally asking Him to take them from me, and to take my lust, for now, so I can be sane. For today. For now.

I would sugest take a book without any pictures into a bathroom as opposed to any secular periodical-secular media that are mainstream have pictures, articles and reviews that are very arousing to a person addicted to masturbation and porn.

We should talk more about social media and cellphones etc. The indiscriminate use of cellphones has erased any sense of privacy in the secular world. Similarly, the use of social media has resulted in the destruction of carreers, etc, simply because the user was using the same in place of and instead of a healthy normal relationship.

Hello returning to Hashem,

I just want to start off by saying just how amazing and inspiring you are. The lust dragged you that low and you were still able to pull your self out. I pray that I can have that kind of strength. I am sure that if you stay here you will become clean, and maybe help other do the same.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

P.S. A mistake some young men make is that they think that once the are married, they will be cured. That could not be further from the truth. It is good that for you to spend your time and energy into finding a wife, but remember that marriage is not a cure.

Dr.Watson wrote:


I can vouch for that big time, I mean like super duper big time. I used to sit in the bathroom for two hours at a time...

I would agree-take a secular book without any pictures or the equivalent into the bathroom. Secular newspapers, etc, including the NY Times, ecerpt for the WS Journal, Commenrtary and the Weekly Standard, are loaded with what only can be described as an editorial, feature and pictorial agenda that pushes pritzus and SSA as normal.