Hi
I have been BH sane just for today, one hour at a time for almost 3 months. The last few days have been hard for me. I know that all HKB'H allows to happen to me is for me. Yet, it feels difficult to feel so alone.
I guess what I am saying is that many people who I thought cared ;from their behavior over time now shows much different than their words. I try to not personalized their inventory, yet I do not want to act out over this compounded hurt and feeling that have accumulated . I live in a community where finding genuine chevra is very hard and even before and after minyan everyone is there and goes. It is apparent to me that money, kavod and lowering one's ethics are the currency of my community.
I am reaching out to allow HKB'H to send me the message I need to "hear". I do NOT want to back into the insanity of my disease, just to escape this pain.

I will keep coming back as I know the pain of growth is greater than the momentary pleasure of self suicide through acting out !

Kol Tuv

You're on the right path, one day at a time! Don't despair, keep going! And remember, now that you're here you're not alone any more- we're with you, every step of the way.

I think in most frum communities appearances are valued, whether the appearance of money and success or of yeshivishness or frumkeit or whatever. I have found that when I get to know at least some individuals on a more personal, one-on-one level, the facades can begin to fall away. Provided I am willing to drop mine. I have also found having friends very helpful to further my recovery.

Sounds like you've done the very important work of getting sober. That is, living day to day, moment to moment without your drug. Try to identify someone in your circle that you can get together with in the evening once in a while. You can go for a walk, or have a microbrew and some funky chips from Whole Foods. Or ice cream if you're not too fat

Welcome aboard!

Alex

WELCOME! You are among friends who will listen (and not judge) as well as encourage and uplift you! Keep posting.

Welcome! I wish I can say I went 3 months without acting out. I ditto everyone else, we're here for you every step of the way. We're rooting for you! I hope I can follow your example of sobriety, keep it up! Don't stop now!

Welcome to the Guard Your Eyes community. For me personally, until I started posting here I getting worse. Now I am getting better! I hope this forum will help you the same way it has helped me.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

P.S. I am always here for any Jew in need. You can send me a private message whenever you want.