Chaim -
I know I'm like 3 weeks late, but I just saw your post now. When i saw your post, I realized that I never knew that there were others who really read my posts and gained from it. I feel guilty for not being more consistent. The truth is, a few days before you checked in, I had a fall. A pretty big fall for me at least. I was really upset with myself as I had been making great strides in my fight. I had so many opportunities to back out of this fall but I opted in. After a few days of just calming myself down, I thought I needed a little break from posting so often. As I have mentioned before, I felt like all the attention placed on the struggle through my posts was making it difficult for me in some respects. I took Dov's advice and am trying to just "live in the solution". Even though it might be premature or superficial, I am trying to be or at least act like the clean person I had always dreamed to be. Honestly, I have found the struggles to be much easier to win like this. Its as if I have been looking at myself so far above this shtus that it would be so beneath me to be nichshol. B"h I have been completely clean (like not even taking second looks on the street) for 4 full weeks since that fall.
So, I apologize for not keeping you up to date on my struggles and falls. But b"h things are really great right now.
All the best,
Avi
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