Hi
This is my first post on GYE. I have been struggling with my yetzer hara for about 10 years. I remember my first time- i found a porn magazine under my dad's bed and have been hooked. I have strayed many times, often many times a day. i have been working on myself for a while and about 9 months ago I got engaged. It has slowly been decreasing more and more and then almost 3 months ago I got married. We have been having major marital issues (my fault) and to relieve the stress I have found myself really struggling. It makes it harder the fact that I go to college with some beautiful women and have made a kabalah that for every time I check  out a woman or act inappropriately, I will spend 15 minutes on guardyoureyes.com .
However, we are still  fighting and she just left for the day and am struggling right now. She will never know but hashem will. I have to break out of this fantasy and escapism. Thats why I'm here, thats why I need to break free. Thats why I need to remain vigilant.

Dear Leppy
Mazel Tov for youe wedding
Mazel Tov for entering into the GYE shteeble
What you are going thru is only normal
please lower your expectations from your dear wife, and your life will be so much more happier
start being reallistic to her, listen to what she wants, find out between the lines what is her needs
start understanding her, she is the same human being like those other hot women you meet at work

Welcome!
15 minutes on GYE -- what a great kaballah!
Come here even if you don't screw up!

You're in the right place and you're definitely not alone.  Sounds like you're addicted to p* and m*.  We don't fight this quite the way we fight other Y"H's, though.  True, you need gedarim, like not looking at women, which we shouldn't be doing anyway.  But for us, it's a matter of life and (spiritual) death.  We are allergic to looking at women.  It affects us too much.

You are astute to notice that stress of any sort can be a big trigger to act out.  All the more so if your relationship with your wife is part of that stress.

So hammer out a real recovery plan for yourself.  Include vigilant shmiras eynayim in all settings.  Don't look at any part of any woman except your wife.  Not live and not in pictures.  Not even their faces.  Protect your mind from entertaining fantasies, even about your wife.

Regarding your marital discord, please run out today and buy The Garden of Peace, a Marital Guide for Men Only, by R' Shalom Arush.  Read it twice.  Here's some tips from the book to get you started:  Never criticize your wife.  Not even the slightest comment.  Never.
Make your wife the most important thing in your life.
Praise her.  Compliment her.  Be helpful.

Use your bedroom encounters to connect with her, rather than getting high on lust.

Hatzlocha!
Alex

Hello Leppy,

Mazel tov!

And, welcome to the forum.  Check out this page with ideas for how to get started in this struggle:

www.guardyoureyes.com/breakingfree/first-time-here

It's got lots of ideas, tried and tested, for success in this struggle.

Hatzlacha to you!

--Elyah