after a few days of being clean i get very down u got a idea for me?

the reason we get very down is because we have accustomed ourselves to using lust as a comforter, anytime we were stressed out, our brin automatically turns to lust thinking, "this will make me better", here at GYE we're trying to convince ourselves that it's false. sex is in fact optional, and it's not our "lifesaver".
If we start trying to work on living a healthy lifestyle not one ruled by egos and fantasies, we will begin to feel better and not feel the need to run and act out. also.
you're NOT alone
love, TZ

You may be experiencing withdrawal.  That's what an addict feels when he is separated from his drug of choice.  In our case, the drug of choice is lust.

If you're just fighting to stay clean, without real recovery, then this will probably keep happening.  If you'll throw youself into recovery, using a proven system, you will move past the withdrawal into a new, happier reality, free of lust.

Up for it?

Welcome!

Alex

thaks

i posted this on a forum calld "how to build my self esteem"
thank you all for your chizuk!
we all go thru a daily routine (imspeaking before finishing the treetment) that we live on our actions, if we learnt good today then we r a good person if we didint think/see?do lust then we r a good person and so to if we dont learn then "im a bad person" if we thoht כנ"ל so we say "im a bad person" "nobody wants to speak to me"nobody would want to be my friend if thay new waht i did" ...
but realy a person shed look at himself that he is a חלק אלוק ממעל ממש "i im gods child with infinit love" "im always mor then anohgf" "im healthy and shtrong"
so now the perso is is not looking at himself by his actions and if he falls he seas to himself the above

You raise an important point about actions.

Actions are the way we produce feelings.  Our feelings follow our actions.  If we smile and walk with a spring in our step, we feel happy.  If we frown and mope around, we feel sad.  And our words count as actions.  Even our thoughts count as actions for this (to produce feelings).  So to control our feelings, we start by controlling our thoughts, our speech, our outward actions.

What actions are not is who or what we are intrinsically.  Although it can seem that way at times.  And we eventually do become a product of our thoughts and actions.

A somewhat subtle difference, but worth understanding.

Thanks for your provocative post.  Hope you're doing well and are formulating your real recovery plan.

When I succumbed to sadness and acted out, I had failed to internalize "asher nasan l'sechvi bina lhavhin ben yom uven layla".

Not only does the Aybisther give me the ability to see the difference between day and night, but He also gave me DAY AND NIGHT.  i.e. days when I will see spirituality and feel connected, and days when things are concealed.

I used to experience the "darkness", and say  (due to years of training), woe is me, I am in darkness.  Little did I know, so many others experience the same darkness with me.  as an addict I create a false belief, that the moment of darkness is my fault, that somehow I am to blame, and that having acted out, the darkness is worsened.

What I fail to realize is that the earth rotates, golel ohr mipnei choshech u'choshech mipnei ohr.  Unlike some other planets that are tidally locked and have one said constantly away from the sun, dark, cold, scary, we on planet earth, Gcd's children, never lose the warmth of the Aybishter.  We just gotta wait it through.

Insofar as you realize this is connected to self-esteem, that is huge.  Mamash.  And the chizuk from me now, is, you have the sechel, you have now seen that the sun has not set... you will experience recovery... 24 hours at a time.