Hi people just found this site the other day. I never really knew just how many people were in the same boat as me. I feel like this is my chance because I'm never gonna gather up the courage to talk to someone in person (at least not someone that I know).
This is a big site and and I'm a little lost. I started the 90 day calendar and I get the daily chizuk. I also started looking for an internet filter, although I haven't decided on one yet.  Also, I started reading the handbook today. Am I doing ok so far?
My main issue is Zera Levatalah. It's gotta be around 14 years old. I see some porn but I don't even need it to get me going. I'm not sure what I'm addicted to or how bad but I definitely need a bunch of help. I hope this all works out.

Shalom and Welcome!
Have a seat...
soon the welcoming squad is going to be over with cholint, fire engines and possum flavored spicy muffins.
Meanwhile continue reading the handbooks... they are an integral part of this ite and recovery.
goodkid wrote on 17 Feb 2012 05:05:

Are you doing ok? you're here!
Gevaldiggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Hey good kid, try some "controlled drinking".  Maybe take a break for a week and then go back to doing what you feel comfortable with.  If that doesn't work, welcome back.

WELCOME goodkid!  You have come to the right place.  Start with the handbooks.  It can take some time to find your way around, but you'll get the hang of it. 

It's totally understandable that you feel like you can't talk to anyone right now, cuz that's how we all felt before we actually did it.  It turns out that talking to someone is a BIG releif and is one of the best tools of recovery.  I'm just planting a seed.  You'll do it when you are ready.  There are many people on this forum that would be more than happy to speak with you anonymously on the phone.

Stick around and you will grow here (and laugh quite a bit too )

Here's the official welcome package.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here

goodkid wrote on 17 Feb 2012 05:05:


Hi buddy,

You're off to a great start! All the stuff you are doing will help you tremendously. Seek out people on the forum who you admire and think you can learn from. You will build friendships here and will grow tremendously!

ontheedgeman wrote on 17 Feb 2012 13:09:


onthedege,

with all due respect, I think that your advice is antithetical to Halacha and is wrong. It's ok to tell someone to try controlled drinking with alcohol but Zera L'vatalla is an issur from the Torah. Where did you learn that it's ok to try "controlled drinking" of this kind?
Besides, anyone can gain from the GYE forum, not just desperate and out of control people.

Hey KidushHashem, I see your point.  Your right, that advice is for alcoholics, not people doing things that is contrary to Torah.  Perhaps I can say (to wiggle myself out of this uncomfortable position), that no one in their right mind could feel comfortable doing MZL and so of course, you can't interpret what I said as to actually do it. 

Alternatively - moderator, can you delete my post!!!  Cuz I can't!!

Thanks KidusHashem.  You just earned 10 points in earning your name!  ;-)