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TOPIC: please please help! 1860 Views

please please help! 16 Feb 2012 01:00 #133106

  • proyk
I'm brand new and have no idea how to do this.is there even any one out there?
Last Edit: 16 Feb 2012 01:07 by .

Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 02:44 #133108

  • gevura shebyesod
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Welcome, Proyk!

You're doing it just right. Open up, share your story, your struggle, your pain. We are all here for you.

Browse the site and read the handbook, you will find what will help you.

All the best,

Gevura!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 05:24 #133114

  • hubabuba
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hi proyk,

welcome aboard! I'm out here
please share your struggles, we're here to help. do you have a lust problem?
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 08:48 #133119

  • proyk
Hey guys thanks for the warm welcome. Let me just give u a breif history. I'm a yeshivish guy(learnt in top yeshivas) out side but rotten within. I'm shidduchim age by all stantards but I'm not starting till I work this trash out. My rebbeim know but I still think I need this site to get me out. I've had zera issues for ten years and porn for 7. But I want to ask a Q. I've had times throughout were I've felt like total trash and was mekabel to quit but now my seichal says I've gotta stop but my lev is telling me no way. I know soon my lev will get on board to within the week(that's abt how often I get dped abt it give or take).should I wait to have both on board?
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 09:33 #133120

  • geshertzarmeod
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welcome abroad!
dont wait for anything.
you made the right move, the YH knows its the right move and he will come up with all sorts of reasons to get you outta here. stay put. take off your shoes. get comfy. check out the handbooks the shiurim the chizuk stuff find whatever works for you and go with it. most important keep on posting. we are all here rooting for you. You will beat this thing. One day at a time.
hatzlacha rabba
ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא
If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo
ולבי חלל בקרבי
לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 11:03 #133124

  • TehillimZugger
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proyk wrote on 16 Feb 2012 08:48:

I'm a yeshivish guy(learnt in top yeshivas) out side but rotten within

Welcome Proyk!
We don't accept people that are rotten within, so you'd better change your opinion of yourself fast. 

Also, when Gesher asked you to take off your shoes, he wasn't being literal, he was just figuratively saying to make yourself comfortable and KOP [Keep On Posting]!

Hope to get to know you better,
TZ
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 13:49 #133137

  • Eye.nonymous
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Welcome to the forum Proyk,

Here is a link with lots of ideas of things you can do in this struggle:
www.guardyoureyes.com/breakingfree/first-time-here

...and keep on posting!

--Elyah
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 16:11 #133147

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME Proyk!  Here's the official welcome package.  Take a look, read the materials.  It's a lot at first, but you'll find your way.  We are here to help.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…


Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 20:56 #133177

  • AlexEliezer
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Love the aramaic name!

Welcome!  Learn what it means to be an addict, because the approach, the way out, is very different from just fighting your taivos, as you will hopefully learn very soon.

You mentioned you lev vs your seichal.  In recovery from addiction, we give up our lev.  More specifically, we give up our ratzon, as it pertains to this taiva.  We give it up to Hashem.  We admit that we are powerless over it and realize that only Hashem can restore us to sanity.  We therefore give up our lust, turning it over to Hashem.  We beg him to remove our lust.

It's not a fight.  It's complete surrender.  Not to the taiva.  It's surrender of the taiva.

It's a whole different way of thinking.  Think about it.

Alex
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 21:14 #133183

  • ZemirosShabbos
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welcome proyk,

i like your username, cause it comes from zemiros...
(does it?)

Stick around, read the Handbook, browse around, you'll see that you are not alone in this at all.

wishing you the best
zs
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 21:23 #133185

  • gibbor120
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... and all I could think of was that it's almost pork :o.  What's that doing on a Jewish website  ???
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 21:29 #133194

  • ZemirosShabbos
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www.piyut.org.il/textual/48.html

7th line from bottom
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: please please help! 16 Feb 2012 21:32 #133197

  • gibbor120
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ZemirosShabbos wrote on 16 Feb 2012 21:29:

www.piyut.org.il/textual/48.html

7th line from bottom

I got it once you guys mentioned that it was aramaic, I'm just slooooow.
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Re: please please help! 17 Feb 2012 04:54 #133237

  • hubabuba
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It's also modern Hebrew.  8)
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Re: please please help! 17 Feb 2012 07:22 #133242

  • Eye.nonymous
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Hey Proyk, how are you doing?
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