Hello All, I'm glad, hopeful, and apprehensive to join the forum. I've been battling my porn, masturbation, (and beyond) addiction for many years.
I live the double life - a ba'al teshuva who seems great on the surface, but have that secret private double life that would cause huge embarrassment or much worse depending on exactly what I was "caught" doing. I recently heard about GYE mentioned by Rabbi Twerski during one of his shiurim, so it does feel good to take a positive action, some hishtadlus, in this direction.
I have gone to SA meetings, but feel different from the mostly non-Jewish/ non-frum crowd there, and actually didn't feel comfortable to wear my keepa there due to possible chillel Hashem. So knowing that I can be part of a group that we see reality the same, and we all somehow become stuck with this difficult affliction is comforting. I am apprehensive because I have tried many, many times to stop, but haven't been successful for any real length of time, even when I have restrained its really been 'white knuckling' the whole time. I feel like if this GYE can't help me what else is there?
Thank G-d I have optimism, and will see what comes next. look forward I"YH to positive growth with you all - my new secret chevra!
Thank you!
