The journey begins for me - I responded the the banner that says 'schmutz' - and thats what it is indeed.  I have been addicted to internet porn since AOL was invented - and I have progressed through the rubbish untill I cannot do without it.  I feel like a slave - and it steals my time.  My Torah and Hebrew studies are ruined by my own Yetzer Hara - so I have turned off all my accounts in the various sites i like to go to - and am in the process of installing the k-9 filter and the accountability software - I want my life back - I want my mind back.  I cannot do this if I am to be accountable to me - i am certain i need help - but i do not want to be cast out of my local communinty by speaking to someone here by me.  So I am asking for your help.

You're in the right place- being able to be anynomos here allows you to really say what you need to.  Try it out.

Welcome in joining forces,

I'm really happy you found your way here, I also started my P addiction with the beginning of the internet until yesterday when I curiously clicked on the GYE link on a blog.

Believe me you'll get through it by the various techniques I'm busy discovering every day on the website.

Good Luck and keep posting it helps taking away the need for P !

Rontov,
Welcome!
I hope you'll stick around, get what you need, and help us all in the process.
I can certainly relate to your struggle with p*.  My addiction started well before the internet was invented.  The net certainly intensified my habit, being able to see my fantasies come "to life" in videos and endless pics.

Thanks to the techniques I learned here, along with the very special people who give so much of themselves to make this website and this forum what it is, I have my life back.  It can be done.

It sounds like you're in pretty deep.  That doesn't scare me.  I was very addicted and the stuff ran more and more of my life.  The beginning of recovery was truly the struggle of my life.  Withdrawal hurts.  Every time I passed a female I had to fight to keep my eyes elsewhere.  Then the struggle waxed and waned.  Now it's second nature not to look or fantasize.  It never goes away completely.  I can never become complacent.  But it does get much easier.

Right from the beginning, I admitted that I was powerless over lust.  This meant my only hope was to avoid it.  So extreme shmiras eynayim is one key to success.  I don't surf the net out of boredom.  Not even a little.  Way too dangerous.  Finished checking email and GYE?  Step away from the computer!  Another important concept is turning the battle over to Hashem by davening whenever lustful thoughts come knocking.

Wishing you much hatzlocha
Alex

WELCOME!  Glad to have you aboard!  Here's the welcome package.  It's a great place to start.  Stick around, there are a lot of resources here to help you.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here

thank you so much for your kind reply.  I have intentionally kept my computer time to a very minimum,  and have had success in that regard.  I have not acted out personally - though my mind needs constant shepherding in the right direction.  I do have some questions with regards to the manner in which i interact with my wife that might be best asked in the married forum.  I will report in a later time -  thanks again.

Ron- how ya doing?

today i am rather anxious - wanting to pleasure myself - but i am keeping busy - reading Torah, cleaning the house - keeping away from the internet - mostly.  ( work related )