I would like to discuss with anybody that is willing too, this subject.  As i writing this i'm enjoying some goyish music which i don't find to be that bad only when i here bad lyrics.  I like to watch movies but deep down i know that it is messing with my mind.  I try to stick to inspirational movies but many times other movies catch my eye that are rated r, but not worse.  I would like to stick to pg-13 or family movies.  So thats my situation so I'm inviting anybody to discuss with me and give me some guidance and chizuk.

Depends where you're holding.  If you're not masturbating, not having keri at night, and are not drawn to pornography, then your question is just one of hashkafa.  And halacha.

As an addict, in order to recover and stop acting out, I admitted powerlessness over lust.  That means no looking at potential objects of lust, e.g. women.  Not their faces, their pretty clothes, their hair, etc.  Which means no movies.  It also means no kol isha, even if I may hold that a woman's recorded voice is permitted.  It still gets me thinking about THE WOMAN.

Stam rock & roll I do occasionally indulge in for old times sake when I'm taking a short drive.  But only if the lyrics have nothing to do with male-female relationships.

Welcome!

Alex

thanks for the reply alex,  i'm not masturbating, not having keri at night, and are not drawn to pornography.  but i do lust after women which i would  like to work on with G-d's help.
but sometimes i question does that mean totally not looking?  sometimes some women are attractive and some are not.

That's very impressive!

Nonetheless, since you asked, chazal did point out to us the prohibition and foolishness of looking at women.  "Better to be behind a lion than behind a woman."  See also Mesilas Yeshorim where he states that even looking at the finger of a woman can bring evil upon a man.  There are more learned guys here who will hopefully help out with additional sources.  You can also look through the chizuk email archives for more shmiras eynayim Torah.  And subscribe.

So it's something worth working on.  Ashrecha that you haven't fallen into the serious aveiros so many of us here have.  Now is the best possible time to start guarding your eyes to make sure it stays that way.  You'll be quite a catch (I'm assuming you're not married yet.)

I am B"H married for 15 years.  I struggle with movies mainly.  I would like to have the strength to keep to inspirational and family movies.  I have had exposure to ponography but for different reasons, like I feel terrible when i look at porn and that its a very grave sin, I've kept away.  I have  covenant eyes web chaver on my computer.  I wish there  was a webchaver for movies.

manny-
out of curiosity, how did you get to this site, and what made you post here?

newavraham wrote on 08 Nov 2011 21:59:

Hey, fella, why don't you open a thread and we will join you in overcoming this. It is SO possible, as is proven by SO many here.
I also fooled myself into thinking that if only my wife did what the porn women did, it would bring me happiness. Notice I said "fooled".
Let's talk more!

I got to the site through a friend, who  who suggested that I go to this site to get help. So I noticed the site was not just for porn it is also for people who are struggling with Shmiras Enayim. Which I think is for all of us men.

Manny, welcome!
Check this out http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/ebooks/Nutshell%20July2011.pdf
it may help clear things up for you of where you stand and what this website can do for you.

Manny,
This is a great place to be to deal with your issues.  Looking at and lusting after other women is certainly something to work on.

Regarding resisting the temptation to watch questionable movies, try taking a "one right decision at a time" approach.  Don't think about giving it all up.  Just don't do it this time.

Here's a link to the shmiras eynayim chizuk archives:
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/GUEList2/GUEList2_1.asp


newavraham,
Welcome to the forum.  Let's not hijack manny's thread.  Please start your own thread in the "introduce yourself section" so we can give you the warm welcome and attention you deserve.

alexeliezer wrote on 09 Nov 2011 18:46:


You know just this evening I was struggling with wasting way too much time on movies (it's an addiction even if it's not Por***)
I was struggling with the question of how to give it all up when I feel that I sometimes need it to unwind. I just wasn't ready to give it all up but this worried me because it's getting in the way of sticking to a normal schedule....

My new motto is "Take it one decision at a time" and pray and hope to for hashem to help me...

We'll see how this works for me.

Much Success!!!!!

Sounds good one step at a time. I think the next movie I'll make sure its pg13 or less. And after that we will see.

bravo for coming out here & trying to work on thee issues. ive had the same prob for a while. i just want u to know how important it is that u work on this. i have the same prob with movies &music but i use movies as an escape just as i do porn and music i use more as a release(like porn) . try get to the bottom of whats really bothering u .when do u feel compelled to watch or listen wat do u listen to. me when im really angry i crank uop the heavy rock & rap. acting out is not our prob its a little deeper then that

Hey Manny,

I was having a movie problem recently as well. As you yourself have already concluded, I found that the best way to deal with it is the same as I deal with my addiction to P&M-one day at a time. I don't know if I'll watch a movie tomorrow. When tomorrow comes I'll deal with it. I only know that right now I do/don't want to watch. I'll daven to Aba and ask him to remove this Taiva.