yeh, the only way to find the "real you" is to have an army of friends behind you helping you clean the dirt encrusted on your pure neshama, so that it can shine the real you again. that is why you came to GYE, that's what is giving me the strength. unfortunately it wasnt enough for me to just trust in Hashem, call it a lack of emuna, but i guess thats why we all sin in the first place. forgive me for being a little harsh, sinned or not, i dont know your situation, you mentioned abuse, please elaborate, write ur story so we can band together and help each other,