by the way just did the maths im on day 40 ;D
(never manged to get into the 90-day calendar because i never recieved the confirmation email!)

WTG!!!!!!

Keep On Trucking!!!!!

And get that filter, a computer without a filter is like a truck without brakes.

Gevura!

HAPPY 40th!!

No reason to ever go back.  Just remember, one day at a time.

Likin' your success!

Alex

Me3 wrote on 04 Oct 2011 14:16:


Ha ha was that a joke !!!  good siman...???!!

Ahem....., but seriously..... no question I do believe that first the YH tries to get us to fail/ fall and then uses that failure as an excuse to make us depressed, fail again, into a vicious cycle.... so just forget about it and move on.  Now i get the KOT  !!!!

I have to agree as well what a treasure this site is !! I sooo regret not having found it before....years ago I would be a happy man today...or happier. I am happy now...

Shalom my dear brothers...love you all

HY

See Mishne Brura Siman Tof-Reish-Tes-Vov (615) Se'if Beis and what he writes on the bottom.

Here's a link to see it online: http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14166&st=&pgnum=158&hilite=

And yes, Atzvus is one of the YH's most potent weapons!

Gevura!

simcha is the secret

learn torah with simcha!!!!!!!!!

Keri on YK is a good or bad siman depending if you make it through the year, i think.  I once saw (in piskei teshuvos) that this is ONLY if no improper histaklus or hirhurim caused it.  Today, we can assume it came from one of those and the whole thing would not apply.  I beleive he said even if the histaklus and hirhurim were a couple of weeks ago.

gibbor120 wrote on 01 Nov 2011 20:21:


See the Mishne Brura I linked above.

I heard that the whole thing about it being a good siman is only for a person who is completely above that whole inyan

ok.....on thursday night i fell again because of youtube (something 'holy' had brought me to youtube and for some reason a so-called 'related video' ruined by track...
but i finally got k9 filter today...the filter gabbai has my code.
I have a question.
i feel so connected to this inyan that i dont feel there is anything wrong with it. i mean i know its wrong in a makif-dike way but i feel like i want to keep going c'v but still be a chasidishe yid, etc, etc. its like the famous statement that once you do a sin more than once it already becomes for you like a heter. there are times, obviously, were i feel that i dont want to do this but there are times when i feel like i want to eg now that we got the k9 i spent about 30 minutes entering all different websites to see if perhaps, just perhaps they left something out by accident.  :-[ then, of course, i came here...nowhere else to go i guess :...... sometimes i dont feel that the lust is an inner yetzer horo attacking me. sometimes i feel like the lust is ME. And its just annoying that one of the commandments is not to do zero levatalo. VERY ANNOYING. i know what im writing sounds funny and childish, even when i look at it i think to myself 'what kind of idiot is writing this???' but whatever thats the way i feel about it. sometimes. how do i stop? how do i feel that this is a yetzer horo and NOT ME even at the time of a nisayon. i mean its not just like one nisayon and thats it. its an ongoing nisayon until who knows when. and its almost as if i have to fight against me.

welll, i happen to be thinking outloud and i think i have a counterargument against myself..: thats avodas hashem. its a war against ourselves. so HASHEM should win and we should lose, like it says in Tanya. And then we reveal that our TRUE innerselves which is HIDDEN by what we feel as ME has only one ratzon: to do what hashem wants!

Have you had enough?  Are you ready for recovery?  Check out the Dov Quotes link in my signiture.  Hatzlacha!

helpme! wrote on 07 Nov 2011 18:50:


Don't feel, just do.  Guard your eyes, guard your mind.  We're all numb from the aveira.  We just have to do this because we know it's destroying us.

Don't fight.  Turn your lust over to Hashem.  Turn the fight over to Hashem.  Daven a lot.

helpme! wrote on 07 Nov 2011 18:50:

That's not funny, but it is extremely immature and childish, which is exactly why I used to feel the way you're describing: but I wannaaaaaaa look, it's not faaaaaaair, it's annoying, I'm having such a good time, and some stupid commendment has to ruin it for me.
I guess the only answer to that is, like Gibbor put it, have you had enough? Are you ready to grow up? Or do you need to waste many more years of your life, worshipping body parts and ejaculating on your lap? No one can make this choice for you, but help is available. With G-d's help, you will grow up.
Hatzlocho.

fell again. i hate being smart sometimes. i found something that the k9 doesnt pick up. at not stam it was after a whole technical way of accessing a certain website. i think im crazy.
i just heard the audio clip about the telescope, it explains me completely... :-[. what a day. the worst thing is that it takes away from my time! i have wasted 3 hours (including an hour after the incident looking at the website and feeling sorry for myself).
Maybe i need to join a 12-step program or speak on the phone with a therapist. the thing is right now ive lost so much time today now its just absoultely crazy....i cant believe how much i still have to do and its already 12pm! now im starting my day! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

Do I hear the sound of a rock hitting bottom ?  There is help available my friend if you want it.  I wish you the best.  Keep posting.  There are a lot of great tools and great people here to help you.