I am new here. Just want to say hello.

welcome hagaon

you came to the right place

Hello and welcome!
Tell us a bit about youself
This place is excellent, hang around!

Welcome Hagaon,
Nice to meet you!
Can't wait to hear your story!
Alex

WELCOME to our community hagaon!  You couldn't have joined a better one!  Post away my friend.  We're listening.

Here is the official welcome package. 

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Hi! Please share about your struggles, what your problems are, what you're going through, etc. This is the place to be and we are all here to help you!

Love,

KH

I'm hoping you've been away because of Shabbos.  Please don't stop coming here because of a slip or fall.  We're here to help you Keep on Trucking.

I am back. Apologies for the lengthy delay.

The warmth and friendliness of the forum really brings a smile to my face.

My quick story-I have been experiencing problems in this issue to varying degrees since shortly after puberty approximately 15 years ago. Exposure to uncensored cable television, and later internet.

My worst period is behind me, but so is my best, though I am closer to the better period right now.

I joined now, though I've known of this site for a few years, for a particular reason.

I recently entered an intensive professional work/education program which I am tremendously enjoying. However, it is very demanding, and thus, has a stress level higher than before I joined the program.

This in itself is bearable. The challenge lies in the greater exposure to pritzut I experience through my commute, my environment, and my added exposure to internet. (I do not have internet at home).

Within the first few weeks, I quickly deteriorated, and was viewing material that was extraordinarily spiritually damaging. I knew that this would have terrible repercussions on my soul, my marriage, and my career success.

I felt that the addiction had very strongly taken over and could not achieve any control. I knew not what to do, and came back here.

I was looking for help, and found the 90 days journey information on this site extremely interesting, and felt that was a way I could make it out. (90 days to break addictive habits, and chart sign-up)

It's been 6 days on the chart, and baruch Hashem I already feel much better. I look forward to 90 days, and further cleanliness.

One thing I must disclose. I have a slight feeling of guilt on the 90 days journey. Let me explain. My shmirat aynayim is still very poor, and feels under the uncontrollable rubric. On the other hand, the alternative is the path I was going down before I signed up here, which was viewing much more explicit, damaging material which was actively sought out and extremely time consuming.

I felt I needed to address that immediately, and Baruch Hashem, I have. I think I'm a ways away on the Shmirat Aynayim front, but B'ezrat Hashem, I would like to conquer the more serious challenge first.

Thank you all for all your kind words! :-)

hi and welcome,

i think you are wise to take things gradually and not expect to turn around on a dime. what the wise people here say is "progress, not perfection"

keep up your good work!

wishing you hatzlocha
zs

If I may put my 5 cents in, shmiras ayinaim isn't limited to internet. My eyes lead me astray whether I'm pursuing a short dress on the street or some really disgusting stuff on the computer monitor.
I know that if I look around on the street, on the train, etc, I will end up looking at pictures later, because my desease cannot be satisfied with "just a little peek" to keep myself in check.
There is no "in-check" for me if I let my eyes wonder anywhere. I would respectfully suggest that not guarding your eyes on the street in favor of not watching worse stuff later is a recipe for a quick fall and it is a tachabulois hayetzer.
There is a guy alexeliezer on the forum here, he has  a few very powerful posts on this issue. look him up or pm me and I'll send you a few links.

Hi hagaon,

Nice to "meet" you.

I agree with zemmy.  We can't always do the ideal.  Keep working, keep moving forward.  Shmiras Aynayim is probably the hardest to tackle.  It's all around us.  It can take time.  One step at a time. One day at a time.  We're all in this together.

I greatly appreciate the kind words and chizuk of zemiros shabbos and gibbor120.

As to obormottel's idea, I respectfully disagree. I don't mean to give a heter to falls in shmirat aynayim, but my past experience and current success are all based on one step at a time. Trying to do it all at once has always rebounded terribly for me, and had no success.

Shabbat Shalom to all.

hagaon wrote on 16 Sep 2011 15:36:

i often succeed using this approach when faced with a good chocolate cake

have a great shabbos!

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 16 Sep 2011 15:55:

what, one bite at a time?

au contrare, eating it all at once