The lottery tomorrow? spoken like a true fantasiser....................

I agree with Alex. If money works do it for money. If brains work do it for brains.

I keep on asking myself why I want to get out.

Is it because it is assur? Forbidden by a heavinly edict. Is that enough for me to stop. I would like to say yes. That would allow me to walk into Yom Kippur with a heart ready for Teshuva.

Is it for my family. Of course I want to stop for the sake of my family. But my wanting to stop has to be deeper than that. I wanted to stop when I was single as well.

Is it for money? I did not know there was a segula.

Is it to stop the double life I was leading? Perhaps.

ninety

I think that the "want" to stop is identical for everyone. However, the "driving force" to stop may be different. Whadya think?

I never heard this before, I guess the pshat is first one starts  checking out free sites, then one moves to pay sites then regresses to worser things. But one who shmiras habris  would save a lot of shekels  and time (I guess time is also money). 

Why make money the hard way?  Since when do you have to do a mitvah to make money.  and if that were true, what's up with all the tzadikim just getting by, Be"H.

Better to learn how to make money without stressing yourself about doing mitvas.  Much easier.

I think it's fair to say that none of the guys who replied to your desire for money are trying to discourage you from using it as a reason to stop acting out. It's just that we I find it hard to believe that there is nothing else motivating you to stop.

obormottel wrote on 11 Sep 2011 05:56:


I'm sure there are other reasons motivating him to stop; I think he just meant that, bottom line, he wouldn't be here without the monetary drive. The money was the push he needed...

milehashem wrote on 07 Sep 2011 11:02:


As Yossi L. and others said well, I'm not discouraging you from using whatever works. If money does it, then great!
It's just that I have a very hard time imagining that you will be able to stay clean just for that...
If you see a direct correlation, where it's obvious to any onlooker that you are getting money b.c. of your kedusha, then it would be easy. But that's not how the world works. Reward and punishment can always be explained away as natural occurrences. The YH will wait for the right moment and then convince a person that there is no correlation and that it's ok to sin...
In the past, I tried stopping for similar reasons. Health, money etc. It would help but it never worked for very long.
What works for me is seeing the direct results of my actions: acting out=unhappiness, lack of relaxation, negatively affects my relationships etc.
Again, if you see that you can really stop from this alone, more power to you. I'm just uneasy about this and I want to warn you that from my experience, this can wear off...

milehashem wrote on 06 Sep 2011 12:13:


So Lipa wasn't wrong after all, it really is all about Abissel Kusher Gelt!!!

Abi M'lept!!!!

Milehashem, how's it going?

Still going strong, thanks for asking.

What would I do if I won the lottery (or Hashem gave me lots of money in another way)?  I can't tell you, because when it happens, I'm going to do something specific, and if you knew ahead of time what I was going to do, you would then know who I am!

Now, to respond to some others:

I realize that most (all?) of you won't believe me when I write this, but I am not addicted to masturbation.  I haven't looked at pornography since I was a curious high school kid (and I'm in my 30's now) , frankly the whole thing is disgusting to me.  (that is, even if looking at porn was mutar, I wouldn't do it, because I have no interest.)

As far as self-pleasure, since there seems to be a direct link between shmiras habris and:

-clarity of thought
-connection with Hashem (dveikus)
-wealth, and sipuk nefesh in having wealth
(lots of rich masturbators out there, but they're always freaking out about losing their money, or trying to make more money, they can't enjoy what they have!)

I took advice from Pirke Avos and weighed the cost of the action (losing all of the above) vs. the gain (a temporary physical pleasure, release of pain / tension) and concluded that logically, shmiras habris pays back more than it costs.

If this forum is only for addicts, I will stop posting.  However, I think the chart thing is really cool, and it's fun to see how many days I've been "clean", so I hope you'll let me stay.

If there are many poskim - please give me the source for one.  It'a assur (as clear as day) from the shulchan aruch.

Second, if you are here just for kicks, there are other better places to get your kicks from.

Third, if I sound harsh, I apologize, but that's the way I feel.

There may be some obscure poskim that don't hold it's de'oraysah when not preventing child-birth, but what about de'rabanan? What about gemaras that say it's like spilling blood - and shulchan aruch? What about the zohar that says it's from the worst sins? Whoever makes light of divrei chazal is chayav misah!

Anyway, GYE is not about the "sin". It's about the way this takes us away from Hashem, our wives, our goals, and from real life. It's the way we are slaves to the addiction that is the real issue here.

If you are not an addict, this forum is not really for you. But if you enjoy the chart, go ahead  :D

Milehashem, I read your post before it was edited out but waited to reply until the big guns had a chance to pounce on you. Although your post was edited for understandable reasons, (so as not to suggest to anyone that mz'l not being an issur d'oiraisa is a worthwhile idea, like you've supposed), I wish that it was left the way you wrote it so that you can get beat up for it, similar to a guy who brings a bottle of scotch into AA meeting and starts giving out shots while proclaiming that there is nothing wrong with drinking, it's just the hang over we gotta worry about. A guy like that would expect to be punched out, don't you agree?
Like the Guard said, this site is not about sinning. If it was, we wouldn't needed it. One would merely go into confessional (oops, sorry, wrong religion) open  Rabbeinu Yona and do proper tshuvo in due time.
Guys here fight for their lives. They fight for their sanity. For the safety of people around them. They fight to stay out of jail.
So you posted that you are here for the money. We gave you a benefit of a doubt. Guys thought maybe behind your superficiality you really do have deeper reasons. Then you came down hard on a guy who was just trying to be friendly and share an advise in an open forum. You made fun of his username (who does that?) and dismissed out of hand any other possible reasons for wanting to put an end to compulsive masturbating and other destructive habits. So we beleived that you really are an extraneous person.
But now you come out here, and you call a mere chumra and midas chassidus that, which is the biggest evil that any of us here have ever faced. Where do you get the nerve?
Chaver, I realize that you know all the heteirim in the world: why it's OK to shave, to drink non-Cholov Yisroel milk, to eat questionable hashgochois, to use communal eiruv, to go to the beach, to look at women, to masturbate. Hey, it's your choice. Many many people don't even keep Shabbos or fast on Yom Kippur, so compared to them you are a swell fellow by most accounts.
[font=calibri]But don't tell the drunks that their problem is hang over. We are not just missing out on dveikus. We are missing out on life. [/font]
To add, I don't really understand why you need a chart. Isn't money a powerful enough motivation? If someone offered me a job that would pay tripple my current one, but I would have to be there at 4am every morning, I wouldn't need a chart to break my habit of sleeping in. Just an alarm clock. The money would get me out of bed.
So perhaps, not all is so rosey with you, fella, if you need some chart or posting on a forum to motivate you to be motivated by "the most powerful human desire, the MONEY".

BTW, I am in no position to either throw you out of the forum or let you stay. I'm just rambling, so don't let it discourage you from participating here or anywhere else you might find useful to help you make a lot of money.
Much success,
mottel

Milehashem,

I believe strongly that none here is maliciously attacking you; when reading the responses to your post I felt the tough LOVE being directed your way. We love you. However, we are addicts joining together to strengthen each other and your post needed some really tough love. Hashem blessed you that you don't have this horrible addcition, appreciate that, and thank him for that! I wish you all the best on your journey of shmeris habris. Enjoy.

Yossi